PC Engine CoreGrafx Mini review

Published on April 25, 2020July 8, 2020 by Chris Scullion3 Comments

You can’t move for mini retro consoles these days. It’s a good job they’re so small, really.

Ever since Nintendo launched the NES Classic Mini three and a half years ago, we’ve been swimming in chibi versions of vintage video game systems.

The NES, the SNES, the Mega Drive, the Neo Geo… even the Commodore 64 was miniaturised (until someone saw sense and just re-released a full-sized one with a working keyboard).

Even Capcom decided to get in on the action, clearly revealing that they have no idea what ‘mini’ means by releasing a massive fuck-off arcade stick with a bunch of old coin-op classics on it.

Now it’s time for a dinky do-over of a system I desperately wanted to get the mini treatment, but didn’t actually expect we’d get: the NEC PC Engine. Well, a version of it, at least. Look, it’s confusing, but I’ll explain all in a second.

The EU version, the PC Engine CoreGrafx Mini, was supposed to launch back on 19 March, but then there was some sort of virus thing – I think I saw it briefly mentioned in one of the papers – and by pure chance one of the tiny handful of buildings shut down as a result was the Chinese factory that was manufacturing them.

Although there’s still not a set date, I’m reliably informed a release is now imminent, which is why I was sent one of them for review purposes. Let’s get stuck in, then, and find out how the CoreGrafx Mini performs and where it fits into the bigger (smaller) picture of mini consoles.

UPDATE: Amazon UK is now finally sending out units to customers. Continue reading “PC Engine CoreGrafx Mini review” →

Kartography #6 – Crazy Frog Racer

Published on February 28, 2020April 7, 2020 by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

Kartography is my regular series in which I look at licensed kart racers throughout gaming history, and figure out where they fit on my all-time karting game leaderboard.

For more information on my scoring policy for Kartography, check out this introductory article.

Digital Jesters / Neko Entertainment
PS2, PC, DS, GBA (PS2 version reviewed)

Before Tired Old Hack went on a brief hiatus, the Kartography series had ended on a high note with Team Sonic Racing, an enjoyable karting game whose tight handling and teamwork gimmick made up for its relative lack of character diversity.

Now it’s time for Kartography to return, and what better way to mark its comeback than with one of the most notorious karting games ever made?

Crazy Frog Racer is one of the titles that’s regularly rhymed off by folk when the topic of bad licensed racing games arises. But is it truly as bad as it seems, or is it one of those Metroid Prime: Federation Force situations where it didn’t get a fair shake because gamers were ready to hate it anyway?

There’s only one way to find out: let’s kick its tyres. Or not, as the case may be here. Continue reading “Kartography #6 – Crazy Frog Racer” →

Capcom Home Arcade review

Published on January 7, 2020January 13, 2020 by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

We’re very much living in the age of the mini system, with practically every relevant company eagerly miniaturising its consoles and computers in the hope that lightning will strike again with the same intensity of the NES Mini.

These mini systems almost always come with full-sized controllers, which makes perfect sense: after all, it’s all well and good shrinking a Mega Drive down to a fifth of the size but the technology doesn’t exist yet to shrink our hands to the same degree.

What happens, though, when the original control method wasn’t that small to begin with? What if the system was, say, a dirty big arcade cabinet? Cue the Capcom Home Arcade, the ‘mini’ system that’s bigger than pretty much every full-sized one.

Containing an interesting selection of 16 Capcom arcade titles spanning from 1988 to 2001, the Capcom Home Arcade is huge in plenty of ways, from its dimensions to its price tag, to… okay, it’s huge in two ways.

Does it justify dropping £200 on the bastard though? Let’s find out. Continue reading “Capcom Home Arcade review” →

TOH Game Club 5 – Breath of Fire I & II

Published on December 10, 2019February 6, 2025 by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

We’ve had four Tired Old Hack Game Clubs now. The first two were a success, with oodles of players joining forces to play Zelda II and StarTropics together. Then we tried with Earthbound and Phantasy Star and the numbers dropped drastically.

The formula now seems clear: folk are happy to get involved if they don’t have to spend much money (which is understandable). So, with the Switch now in possession of a growing number of SNES games, let’s go with one of those. Or two of them, as it were. Continue reading “TOH Game Club 5 – Breath of Fire I & II” →

13 strange appearances by musicians in games

Published on July 5, 2019April 11, 2020 by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

Celebrities and video games have always walked hand-in-hand ever since hot tennis prospect Stephen Pong was honoured with an arcade game about his life story. Okay, that’s a lie.

Regardless, there’s nothing quite like seeing a celebrity in a game, especially when their appearance is completely unnecessary.

In honour of these odd inclusions, yer man Scullion has decided to look back at some of the more interesting cameos made by musicians in video games. To be clear though, this list:

• doesn’t count full games based entirely on the musicians in question (that’s for another article), only games that feature them in something other than the sole lead role

• doesn’t count appearances in music games like Guitar Hero, because that isn’t strange

• does count ‘ensemble’ games starring multiple musicians in a non-music environment

Now then, let’s get stuck in.

Michael Jackson in Ready 2 Rumble Boxing 2

The original Ready 2 Rumble Boxing was a surprise hit: launching alongside the Dreamcast, its fantastically detailed character models and fast-paced arcade style boxing made it a joy for early adopters.

The inevitable sequel followed a year later, and decided to up the ante by adding a handful of celebrity characters: some authorised, others not.

The latter consisted of Bill and Hillary Clinton, known simply as Mr President and The First Lady (in the days when you could presumably get away with making a game that let you punch a then 53-year-old woman in the face).

As for the legit appearances, Midway Games decided to enlist two very different celebrities to star as secret boxers: enormous basketball star Shaquille O’Neal and… um, Michael Jackson.

This may have seemed like a surprise, but bear in mind two things: firstly, yer man Jacko was a big gamer, having worked a lot with Sega in the past.

Secondly, this was 2000, and Jackson’s star had lost its shine a tad following the first wave of ‘accusations’ in the mid-90s.

Although he was still a global household name, people weren’t buying his new material so readily, his latest album Blood on the Dancefloor only reached number 24 in the US charts. As such, I’m sure it was easier to get him on board.

Still, I’m sure there are plenty of folk who would have gladly taken the opportunity to punch him square in the jaw, something Ready 2 Rumble’s damage-based face-morphing trickery let them do.

Phil Collins in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories

There’s something bittersweet about getting to star in a series as massive as Grand Theft Auto, but turning up in a portable spin-off instead of one of the main entries.

Still, Vice City Stories on PSP (and later PS2) was a cracking little game nonetheless, no doubt because it was based on arguably the best GTA ever.

Given its ‘80s setting, the appearance of Phil Collins is a sensible one. Better still, he actually gets involved in a few missions.

First you have to grab a bulletproof limo and pick him up as he arrives in Vice City by helicopter, avoiding the hitmen out to kill him (his agent owes a crime boss millions, you see).

Then you have to head to the local stadium, where he’s due to perform, and kill the assassins waiting there to make sure the venue is safe for him.

Finally, at the concert you have to stop even more hitmen who are trying to sabotage the lighting rigs to kill Phil.

Your reward is a ticket that lets you watch the GTA version of Phil Collins perform In The Air Tonight. Which is probably worth it for the drum solo, let’s be honest.

Five unwitting singers in Celebrity Sports Showdown

We all remember the glory days of the Wii and how, at its peak, it was home to an onslaught of ‘party’ titles packed with dogshit mini-games.

If you thought it was bad going into a shop and seeing them, imagine how it was for the Staff Writer / Games Editor of the Official Nintendo Magazine at the time, having to play all this guff. Actually, hang on, that was me.

One key example has somehow been forgotten by most despite its sheer strangeness. In 2008 EA decided to release a party game under its wacky ‘EA Sports Freestyle’ label (previously EA Sports Big) and called it Celebrity Sports Showdown.

The premise was as straightforward as it was nonsensical: hey, here’s a bunch of sporting challenges, and let’s have some famous sporting celebrities play them. Oh, and let’s have some musical celebrities join in too, for literally no fucking reason.

I have no issue with the sporting stars. Basketball player Paul Pierce, women’s football legend Mia Hamm, figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi, NFL running back Reggie Bush and boxer Sugar Ray Leonard all made sense in the context of a sports game, even if the events included beach volleyball and ‘rapid fire’ archery.

But if anyone on this planet thinks they can explain why there was also a need to include Avril Lavigne (the first one), Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, LeAnn Rimes, Keith Urban and Nelly Furtado, they’re a stinking liar.

They didn’t even get the celebs in question to record dialogue for their characters: it’s as if EA had made a generic sports game, realised it was a bit shit and decided to replace the character skins with famous faces to help sales. In fact, that’s almost definitely what happened.

I’m going to be covering this one in more detail at a later date, watch this space.

David Bowie in Omikron: The Nomad Soul

Omikron (known just as The Nomad Soul in North America, where it sold about three copies) was the first game developed by David Cage’s Quantic Dream, which became known for the likes of Fahrenheit, Heavy Rain, alleged sexual and racist behaviour in the workplace and Detroit: Become Human.

Like other Quantic Dream games it’s an ambitious adventure which aims for complete player immersion, though unlike the games that followed it there’s less focus on QTE sequences.

Instead, its main gimmick is that any time you die, you possess the soul of one of the other 40-odd NPCs found in the game world: take that, Watch Dogs: Legion.

Most notable, though, was the involvement of the legendary David Bowie. Not only did the musical icon compose 10 new tracks for the game’s soundtrack, he also lent his likeness to two of the game’s characters: an unfortunately named super-being called Boz, and the lead singer of a band who can be seen playing in various areas in the game.

Keeping it in the family, Bowie also managed to wangle it so that his wife, fashion model Iman, also appeared in the game as one of those playable NPCs.

Fred Durst in a couple of WWF games

Nothing defines the turn of the millennium better than Limp Bizkit and its red cap rocking, bumfluff-bearded frontman Fred Durst.

Love him or hate him (and for many it was the latter), young Frederick was the face of ‘nu metal’, with hits like Rollin’, Nookie, My Way and My Generation ensuring the band remained successful for at least a few years.

Ever keen to get involved in the latest craze, WWE (then known as WWF) also involved Limp Bizkit heavily in its programming.

Its music was used in some of its promotional packages (including the greatest one ever made), and more notably Rollin’ became the theme song for The Undertaker.

This all came to a head in 2001 with the release of WWF SmackDown: Just Bring It!, the third game in THQ’s popular SmackDown series and the first on PS2. In that, Fred Durst can actually be unlocked as a playable wrestler, even though physically he was about as tough as hummus.

A year later, he then featured in the Xbox exclusive WWF Raw, once again as an unlockable fighter. Raw was unique in that it offered nearly 180 different weapons(!) to use on your opponent, meaning critics of Mr Durst would have been in their element.

A shitload of rappers in the Def Jam trilogy

Speaking of wrestling, the greatest wrestling game ever made is THQ and AKI’s legendary Nintendo 64 title WWF No Mercy.

Although THQ foolishly decided it no longer required AKI’s services after the release of No Mercy, that didn’t mean the series was dead. AKI took its engine over to EA, who bizarrely said: “Hmmm. Let’s make a wrestling game… but with rappers in it.”

The result was Def Jam Vendetta, a grappler that used the No Mercy engine (albeit a faster version) but replaced the likes of The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin with artists from the Def Jam Recordings stable.

There are 13 rappers in total (joining a bunch of generic fighters), meaning you can boot rump as the likes of DMX, Ludacris, Funkmaster Flex, Redman or Wu-Tang Clan members Method Man and Ghostface Killah.

The sequel Def Jam: Fight For NY ditched the ring but kept the same mechanics, adding a bunch of new rappers to bring the roster up to 67. Step forward Flavor Flav, Busta Rhymes, Ice-T, Snoop Dogg, Xzibit, Warren G and even some women including Lil’ Kim and… um, Carmen Electra for some reason.

Most folk forget the third game, Def Jam Icon, but that’s because it was a bit shit. So let’s not worry about that.

The Beastie Boys in NBA Jam (twice)

NBA Jam is known for its high-flying, over-the-top basketball action and its love of all things crazy: one minute the basket’s being set on fire, the next the backboard is shattering into a thousand pieces.

That’s not all it’s famous for, though. Ever since the first game in the series launched back in 1993, each entry has included a whole host of secret characters.

These range from developers who worked on the game, to characters from other Midway games like Mortal Kombat, to actual celebrities.

NBA Jam Tournament Edition was an updated version of the first game which included a bunch of new characters, including a few musicians. As well as both DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince (Will Smith), you could also unlock all three members of the Beastie Boys.

A full 16 years later when EA rebooted NBA Jam for the Wii (it came to 360 and PS3 later), it once again got some hidden players, including entire teams full of Democrats and Republicans: Obama and Clinton vs Bush and Palin, anyone?

Best of all, just to pay tribute to the good old days, the Beastie Boys returned once again for some b-ball hijinks.

Snoop Dogg in True Crime: Streets of LA

In the early 2000s, the huge success of Grand Theft Auto III influenced countless other open-world crime games all trying (and usually failing) to replicate Rockstar’s magic formula.

One of the better efforts was True Crime: Streets of LA, which turned the tables slightly by having you play as a detective instead of a criminal.

It also included a supporting role from one Mr Snoop Dogg – aka Snoop Doggy Dogg, aka Snoopzilla, aka Snoop Lion, aka DJ Snoopadelic, aka Smooth Dogg – who appears in some missions.

What’s more, if you collected 30 dog bones hidden throughout the game’s map (or entered a cheat code) you could unlock the Doggfather as a playable character.

Streets of LA was popular enough to spawn a sequel, True Crime: New York City, which followed in its predecessor’s footsteps by featuring another rapper, Redman.

A third game provisionally known as True Crime: Hong Kong was all but finished before Activision scrapped it, but not before Square Enix picked it up and released it as Sleeping Dogs.

Various rappers in RapJam: Volume One

Fancying a piece of the NBA Jam pie, Motown Records decided to make its own basketball game and released it under its short-lived Motown Games label.

RapJam: Volume One (there was no Volume Two) offered street basketball with a twist: all 18 playable characters are real-life rappers.

Yes, you too could finally shoot some hoops as Coolio, LL Cool J, Queen Latifah, Warren G, Yo-Yo or any of the members of House of Pain, Naughty by Nature, Onyx or Public Enemy.

The idea was a sound one in theory: with more urban legends than an all-night campfire story session Motown hoped that fans of each artist would buy the game to play as them.

Unfortunately, Motown forgot one tiny detail, and seemingly missed the bit in its checklist that said “don’t make the game a big bucket of wank”.

Avenged Sevenfold in Call of Duty: Black Ops II

The ninth game in the Call of Duty series has a fairly deep and serious story.

It’s set during two different time periods – the late ‘80s and 2025 – and continues both the story of two of Black Ops’ protagonists, and that of one of their sons.

It involves drug cartels, kidnap attempts, cyberwarfare, arms dealing and the eventual outbreak of the second Cold War.

It’s all pretty heavy stuff, which is why it makes perfect sense for the end credits to show two of the game’s characters performing on stage with metal band Avenged Sevenfold.

Oh, and obviously don’t pay attention to the fact that one of those characters is actually Raul Menendez, the game’s main villain who hacks drones and uses them to attack major American and Chinese cities, and is referred to in the game as “the most dangerous terrorist since Osama bin Laden”.

As long as the lad knows how to play an axe, that apparently doesn’t matter.

Insane Clown Posse in Backyard Wrestling

With THQ in possession of the WWE licence, anyone else who wanted to make a wrestling game would either need to go with fictional characters or think outside the box a little.

Eidos decided to go with the latter option, and came up with Backyard Wrestling: Don’t Try This at Home, a wrestling game based on the growing popularity of kids with camcorders filming their own matches in their gardens.

To give the game a little name value, Eidos enlisted the help of rap duo the Insane Clown Posse, who at the time were running their own independent comedy wrestling circuit called JCW (Juggalo Championshit Wrestling).

As such, while its 31-strong roster did indeed include a bunch of completely fictional characters, it also let players choose from ICP themselves – Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J – as well as their rapper chums Twiztid and various other JCW wrestlers.

Granted, there were a couple of legit wrestlers chucked in there for fun too: Sabu and Da Bone Doctor (better known as The Godfather) were included to keep wrestling fans happy. It didn’t really matter, though, because the game was a load of old sack.

Various rockers in the Tony Hawk series

Over the years, no fewer than nine music-based guests have appeared as secret unlockable characters in the Tony Hawk series of skateboarding games.

It all kicked off in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4, with the inclusion of an Iron Maiden song in the soundtrack leading to the ability to unlock the band’s mascot Eddie.

The following year, Tony Hawk’s Underground let you unlock KISS’s Gene Simmons, as well as a new stage set around a KISS concert.

2005’s Tony Hawk’s American Wasteland included Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day as well as rapper Lil Jon, while 2007’s Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground featured MCA from the Beastie Boys.

An HD remake of the original game launched in 2012 and added Metallica members James Hetfield and Robert Trujillo as DLC characters.

And spare a thought for Lil Wayne and Tyler the Creator, who were the unlockable musicians in the atrocious Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5, the comeback everyone wanted but ultimately regretted.

Fred Durst (again) in Fight Club

Finally, if beating Fred Durst in a wrestling ring a couple of times wasn’t enough to get it all out of your system, there was another more violent way to kick his head in.

The Fight Club game was released five years after the movie, but that doesn’t mean the developers were doing a GoldenEye and improving its quality by not rushing it to launch alongside the film.

It just means that a few years after the film came out, Vivendi Universal thought: “Folk are still talking about Fight Club, so let’s make a game about that. And let’s make sure the combat is as shallow as a paddling pool Kenny Baker’s pissed in.”

If you fought your way through the game’s Arcade mode and completed it as every character, you would unlock Abraham Lincoln as a playable fighter (a reference to a single line in the film).

However, if you take on the fairly rubbish Story mode and beat that, you’ll unlock Fred Durst, meaning you can finally finish the job you started in the WWE games and boot the utter shite out of him.

If you enjoyed this and other articles and want to help me write them more frequently, please consider donating to my Patreon account.

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My Arcade Pixel Player review

Published on June 6, 2019June 16, 2019 by Chris Scullion2 Comments

With retro gaming all the rage these days, there are plenty of companies keen to appeal to the old-school gamers out there with products that appeal to their childhoods.

California-based My Arcade is one such outfit looking to tap into that vein with its Pixel Player gizmo, but it’s gone one step further by securing something others often fail to acquire: an official licence.

Whereas most of these retro handheld thingies tend to chuck a bunch of unofficial, homebrew and bootleg games on there and slap a price on it, My Arcade has teamed up with Data East to include eight of its classic games on the system.

Granted, it does still have said unofficial, homebrew and bootleg games on there too – there are 308 games in total – but at least you know there are some legit offerings.

Just to clarify before we get into more depth, we’re talking NES emulation here. Although most of the Data East games included in the Pixel Player had arcade versions, it’s the ports released on Nintendo’s 8-bit system that you’ll find instead.

That said, let’s break it down a bit more. Continue reading “My Arcade Pixel Player review” →

The NES Encyclopedia: Every Game Released for the Nintendo Entertainment System (my book!)

Published on March 23, 2019July 3, 2019 by Chris Scullion4 Comments

UPDATE: Here’s a video with yours truly showing the finished book in all its glory.

I’ve been writing about video games professionally for nearly 13 years now.

In that time I’ve reviewed thousands of games, written hundreds of features and covered thousands of news stories.

I take pride in all the work I do, but the NES Encyclopedia is by far my proudest accomplishment.

If you’ve been following my work for a while you’ll already be familiar with the NES Encyclopedia and everything it entails, but if you’ve just stumbled upon it for the first time, allow me to explain all via the not-at-all-overused method of the fake conversation.

Hello there, Chris.

Hello there, completely fictional person I always conjure up for articles like this. How have you been?

Oh, you know, I haven’t been up to much. Literally, I mean. Any time you aren’t making use of me in an article I don’t actually exist.

Right, right. So what’s the topic today?

Well, it’s your shiny new NES Encyclopedia. I shall be fulfilling the role of ‘person who’s never heard of it and wants to know more’.

It’s the role you were born to play! Well, created by me to play.

Quite. So, what’s this book all about then?

Glad you asked. The NES Encyclopedia is the definitive guide to the Nintendo Entertainment System’s software library. Every single game released for the NES during its lifetime is listed in this very book.

Every single one? What, so is Low G Man in it?

Yes.

How about Dusty Diamond’s All-Star Softball?

Yup.

And Super Mario Bros 3?

Of cour… why would you start with obscure ones and end with an obvious one?

You tell me, you’re the one writing the questions.

Regardless, the point is when I say every game, I mean every game: a grand total of 714 officially licensed NES titles, all present and accounted for.

Ah, but not every NES game was officially licensed. What about stuff like Cheetahmen II, or the Tengen games? They didn’t get a Nintendo Seal of Approval, so they don’t count in the list of 714.

That’s right, they don’t. That’s why there’s a second section at the back of the book dedicated to unlicensed games: the ones released on dodgy bespoke cartridges to bypass Nintendo’s copy protection.

There are another 162 games in this section, all given the same level of attention the licensed games get, making for a grand total of 876 games.

That’s a lot of games. Presumably most of the crap ones get a single-sentence acknowledgement just to make up the numbers.

Nope. The book is an A4 hardback, and every single game gets a quarter page at the very least, including a screenshot and a piece of trivia.

Trivia?

Yup, as in a fun fact or something related to the subject matter.

An example, damn you.

Well, take a look at the Donkey Kong spread. That shows the three ‘tiers’ of games in the book. The iconic games get a full page, other big titles get a half page and everything else – no matter how obscure or terrible – still gets a quarter page to itself.

I see. And those ‘fact’ bits are there for every game in the book?

Yup, all 876 of them. Even the unlicensed ones.

So this is a big book, then?

It is indeed. Like I say, it’s an A4 hardback. It’s full colour, consisting of around 270 pages, and around 180,000 words in total.

That’s 20,000 words longer than the first two Harry Potter books combined, and you also have my promise that I won’t half-heartedly add retrospective information about the characters’ sexual orientations years after it’s been published, like Rowling does.

That’s a shame. I always wished the Battletoads were gay.

Well, you do you, and I’ll support any fanfiction you choose to write.

Anyway, the book sounds good. How do I buy it? There’s usually a Kickstarter for these things, isn’t there?

Not this time. It’s done. It’s out in less than a week (30 March).

It’s done? No crowdfunding?

Nope. It was commissioned by a proper publisher, and everything. The lovely folks at White Owl Books (an imprint of the successful military publisher Pen & Sword) are handling publishing and distribution: this isn’t a crowdfunded, self-published thingy, it’s a legit, proper publication that you’ll find in book shops and the like.

So which book shops are we talking about?

Any shop that sells books, just like any other book. So you should be able to buy it in Waterstones and the like and if they don’t have it on the shelves you should be able to get them to order it in through their usual channels. If you need it, the ISBN number is 9781526737793.

A look at the ‘Unlicensed Games’ section. The 162 games here get the same treatment as the 714 licensed games.

And online…?

Yup, of course. The retail price in the UK is £30, but there are plenty of online stores selling it at a discount. Here are some links (all prices correct at the time of posting this):

Amazon UK – £21
Pen & Sword (direct from the publisher) – £24 introductory offer
WH Smith – £21
Waterstones – £30
Wordery – £26.70
Book Depository – £26.85
Blackwell’s – £26.40
hive.co.uk – £22.85
Foyles – £30

Note: These are all reputable book sites but I can’t speak for which ones will get stock in first, and which ones will result in you getting the book earliest. If I’ve learned one thing through this, it’s that the world of book releases is less reliable than the world of video game releases!

That’s all well and good, but I don’t live in the UK. I live in the United States of America.

Are you sure?

Yee haw.

Ah, I see it now. Well, you’re in luck: much like Eddie Murphy, the book is Coming to America™ – it’s due for release in July, with a retail price of $39.95. Here are some pre-order links.

Amazon US – $26.76
Barnes & Noble – $27.97
Powell’s – $39.95
Books-A-Million – $39.95
Wordery – $35.55 (UK based)
Book Depository – $35.44 (UK based)

Since the book isn’t due out in the US until July, my guess is that if you buy from the UK-based sites, you’ll get the book a bit earlier. That said, I can’t guarantee you won’t have import fees to pay or what have you, so it may be best to play it safe and go with Amazon, B&N etc. – you’ll save money if you don’t mind waiting a little longer.

Actually, I lied. I’m actually living in Canada just now. Can you tell me whereaboots I can order it from?

Are you allowed to say “whereaboots”? Isn’t that a bit… you know.

It’s okay, your wife is Canadian.

That’s right. Well, naturally, it’s going to be released in Canada too, where it appears the retail price is $55.50. Here are some links.

Amazon CA – $45.61
Indigo Chapters – $49.39
McNally Robinson – $55.50
Wordery – $46.72 (UK based)
Book Depository – $47.15 (UK based)

I lied again, sorry. I actually live in a different, undisclosed country that doesn’t fall into either the UK, USA or Canada.

Well that’s… okay, no worries. Amazon is really good these days at handling its own imports, so if your country has its own Amazon store the book should hopefully already be available to pre-order there.

Amazon Australia – $42.10
Amazon Brasil – R$139,05
Amazon Deutschland – €37,49
Amazon France – €36,99
Amazon Italia – €36,70
Amazon México – $615.28 (I certainly hope Mexican dollars have a crazy exchange rate)
Amazon 日本 – ￥4,785

Nothing yet in Amazon China, India, Netherlands, Spain or Turkey, I’m afraid.

If you live in a different country or don’t want to use Amazon, just search for ‘Chris Scullion’ in any other online bookstore located in your country. Alternatively, your other best option is to import from the UK, so I recommend either Wordery or The Book Depository.

Both sites are based in the UK, so should be getting in stock from 30 March, and both promise free worldwide shipping. I’ve never bought anything from them from abroad so can’t vouch for them personally and have no idea how long it would take your book to arrive, but both sites have been well-established for a long time so I have no doubt they’re above board.

Lovely. Just one thing… the NES isn’t my favourite console. Why have you gone with that?

That’s fine! I chose the NES because it’s the console that means the most to me personally. It was the first time I fell in love with video games, it was the reason I continued playing games my entire life, it’s the reason I studied journalism at university, it’s the reason I moved to London to become a games journalist at Official Nintendo Magazine, and it’s the reasons I subsequently met the woman who would become my wife and have our beautiful baby daughter.

Long story short, the NES shaped my life, and for a large part of my life I’ve always wanted to write a book that celebrated its entire library. I could have chosen any other system, really, but in my heart there was only one option.

Ultimately, getting it published is my dream being fulfilled. If it doesn’t sell a single copy, I’ll still be happy it exists. But please do buy it anyway, because it’s good.

That’s lovely. Would you do a SNES one though? I was more of a SNES person.

Here’s the thing. If it’s possible then yes, I would love to do a SNES one. In fact, my main dream now is to become the ‘encyclopedia guy’ and keep writing loads of these books, one for every system.

Then do it!

Hold your horses: remember I’m dealing with a publisher here. They (and I) want to make sure the NES book does well before we consider doing more.

I can’t justify once again spending hundreds of hours of research again and writing another 180,000 words, if only 20 people are going to buy the book (especially now I have a baby and free time is at a premium as it is). And, more importantly, the publisher can’t justify printing another book if it won’t sell enough copies.

So, no SNES book then? You SCUM.

I didn’t say that! Wow, you flew off the handle a bit quickly there. No, the reality is actually the opposite.

The publisher and I are both delighted with how the book looks, so we already have an agreement that if The NES Encyclopedia hits a certain sales target – and we’ll be able to tell fairly quickly based on pre-orders and the like whether it’s going to manage that – then I’ll be contracted to write The SNES Encyclopedia.

If that sells well, I’ll be contracted to write The Mega Drive / Genesis Encyclopedia. If that sells well… you get the idea.

I would love a situation where, 10-15 years from now, my shelves (and yours) have a load of my books side-by-side: the NES Encyclopedia, SNES Encyclopedia, Mega Drive Encyclopedia, N64 Encyclopedia, Dreamcast Encyclopedia, Game Boy Encyclopedia, PlayStation Encyclopedia and so on. But we need to get over this first hurdle.

Long story short, if you keep buying them, I’ll keep writing them.

Okay, I’ve pre-ordered. Anything else I can do to help?

Bless you. Spread the word: tweet about it, post about it on Reddit, talk about it on any forums or Discord servers you frequent. Essentially, do your best to make sure as many people as possible know this book exists. Link them to this page if you want: it isn’t going anywhere!

Also, when you get the book, please tweet about it (I’ll RT you) and please, please, please review it, especially if you bought it online. Customer reviews on sites like Amazon are an amazing help when it comes to convincing others to buy products, and if your reviews are positive (which I really hope they will be!) that’s only going to build more momentum.

That’s about it, really. If you have any more questions about the book at all, please do ask them in the comments and I’ll answer as best I can.

This is a massively exciting time for me, but it’s also a hugely nerve-wracking one. I’ve put so much into this book and while I’m so happy with the results, I really hope other people like it too. I wrote it for me, but more than that I wrote it for you, and I can’t wait to hear what you all think about it.

Thanks guys.

Chris x

If you want to help me write more, please consider donating to my Patreon account.

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Gemhunter #14 – Mystic Midway: Rest In Pieces

Published on March 22, 2019February 6, 2025 by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

In the last episode of Gemhunter, the Philips CD-I made its debut and shocked the world (well, a couple of people) by turning up a gem in the form of International Tennis Open.

Could lightning possibly strike twice? Let’s find out as yer man Scullion takes on another CD-I game, the dark funfair shooting gallery that is Mystic Midway: Rest In Pieces.

Gemhunter is my video series in which I try out forgotten, ignored, licensed or shovelware games I’ve never played in the hope of finding a hidden gem. The video is presented unedited so you can experience the game for the first time as I do. Enjoyed this video and want to see more? You can find past Gemhunter episodes here.

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TOH Game Club 2 – StarTropics

Published on March 20, 2019March 22, 2019 by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Well, I think it’s fair to say the first Tired Old Hack Game Club was a success. Well over a hundred people joined throughout the course of the month to take part in a Zelda II playthrough, helping each other out along the way.

Many even finished the game for the first time, commenting that were it not for the Game Club they probably wouldn’t have managed it. Which is lovely to hear.

With that in mind, let’s do it all over again. Continue reading “TOH Game Club 2 – StarTropics” →

Gemhunter #13 – International Tennis Open

Published on March 3, 2019February 6, 2025 by Chris Scullion1 Comment

Could it be ‘unlucky 13’ for Gemhunter?

The much-mocked Philips CD-I makes its Gemhunter debut in this episode, with International Tennis Open going under the microscope.

Could a tennis game on a shite console possibly be a gem? You’ll have to watch to find out. And don’t worry about the sound being terrible at the start: it’s fixed by the time the game’s intro ends.