It’s tiiiiiiiime. Following the releases of the NES, SNES, Mega Drive / Genesis, N64 and Dreamcast Encyclopedias, yer man has finally taken things portable with my first ever encyclopedia dedicated to a handheld system. Well,… More
The 10 Best Games of 2022
This article is available in both written and video format. The video shows the games in action in full 4K and 60 frames per second while I read the article as a voiceover, so if you watch the video you won’t need to read the written article that follows since it’s the same ‘script’. The video can be viewed here:
The general consensus seems to be that 2022 wasn’t a very good year for video games.
With many of the big titles planned for this past year hit with delays, it’s clear that 2023 is going to have a much larger number of high-profile releases.
That said, I’ve never been a fan of doom and gloom, and there have still been a healthy number of high quality titles released this year, regardless of which systems you own.
Here, then, are yer man Scullion’s 10 favourite games of the year.
As ever, there are a few caveats to bear in mind before we get started.
• It’s in alphabetical order, not best-to-worst. I can’t be arsed deciding whether a game was my 6th or 7th favourite of the year. They’re all great: get them all.
• Before you even think about writing a comment saying this, I didn’t “forget” anything. I haven’t played every game released this year, and this is my personal list. In particular, I missed out on a lot of Triple-A titles this year. So no, I didn’t forget Elden Ring or God of War Ragnarok or Xenoblade Chronicles 3, I just haven’t played them yet. Continue reading “The 10 Best Games of 2022”
Where to find me if the blue bird gets a bullet in the bonce
You may have noticed that Twitter is basically Mad Max at this point, and that Elon Musk – who in this situation is the equivalent of that really old evil guy – keeps pulling rules out of his arse like he was Mick Foley with thumbtacks.
While I don’t quite expect Twitter to just suddenly go under any time soon, I also didn’t expect the one-time richest man in the world to call a cave expert a “pedo guy”, liken the Canadian prime minister to Hitler, tweet “pronouns suck”, ban journalists who reported on a story about a separate Twitter account tracking him, run a car company that was ordered to pay $137 million to a Black employee after he was repeatedly subjected to racial abuse without disciplinary measures being taken, give one of his children some sort of weird equation instead of a name, or decide that linking to other social media on Twitter would get you suspended.
So, you know, just in case.
On the off-chance that Twitter does implode, then – and since posting my Linktree is apparently now a bannable offence – here’s all the other places you can find me, if you decide that you aren’t quite sick of my bullshit yet.
Twitter – Still there for now, and the place you’ll find me most regularly until it does a Fight Club and collapses while the Pixies’ Where is My Mind plays in the background.
Substack – My new email newsletter. I was planning to start this in 2023 anyway, but the rumours of Twitter’s closure forced my hand a bit early, so while it’s quiet at the moment there will be regular newsletters in your inbox starting next year.
Tired Old Hack – I mean, not to be rude, but if you can’t find Tired Old Hack from here then you probably also can’t find your own arse.
Twitch – Now that I’ve finished writing my Dreamcast Encyclopedia, I’m going to be streaming fairly regularly going forwards, so follow me on there for notifcations any time I go live.
YouTube – As an accompaniment to Tired Old Hack, you can find a bunch of my game-related videos here already and there are a lot more to come starting next year.
Instagram – I don’t use this a lot but I’ll use it much more if Twitter ever pegs it, so follow me now for the occasional photo of retro hardware.
Discord – Did you know there’s a Tired Old Hack Discord server? Don’t say ‘no’, because I literally just told you there’s one, so if you say ‘no’ now you’re a liar, even it’s only been a couple of seconds.
TikTok – I’m about 20 years too old for this shit, but if Twitter goes under you’d better believe I’ll be giving it a go anyway. My days of worrying about my image are long gone.
That Was a Bit Mental – Not everyone is interested in reading my reviews of horror and B-movies, and that’s perfectly fine. If you are, though, this is coming back in 2023 so fill your boots.
Cohost – This is currently not being used, but is simply there as a backup. If and when Twitter does go under, this will probably be the social media site I jump over to instead.
Buy my books! – Finally, this isn’t technically any sort of social media or anything but if you think I’m going to pass up an opportunity to pimp my books again, you’re out of your mind.
The N64 Encyclopedia – pre-order now!
It’s that time again!
After releasing The NES Encyclopedia in 2019, The SNES Encyclopedia in 2020 and The Mega Drive & Genesis Encyclopedia in 2021, it’s time to return to Nintendo for the fourth book in my series.
Friends, I give to you The N64 Encyclopedia, which is due for release in late September / early October.
As the name suggests, this covers every game ever released for the Nintendo 64.
And, for the first time in my encyclopedia series, I even cover every game released in Japan too (including the handful of 64DD games that were released).
Because the N64 had a much smaller library than the systems I’ve covered in my other encyclopedias to date, you’d be forgiven for thinking this would be a much thinner book as a result.
On the contrary, the book is still a hefty 260 pages, and all the smaller library means is that far more games are given a full page, meaning you can read even more about them.
For comparison, the SNES Encyclopedia had around 30 full-page entries, while the Mega Drive Encyclopedia (which featured nearly 1000 games) had exactly zero.
This time, the N64 Encyclopedia will have 128 full-page games, meaning more than a third of the console’s entire western library will get special treatment.
How does that look in practice? Here’s a couple of spreads I haven’t shown yet: one from the western section, and one from the shiny new Japanese section (which I’ve never done before in an encyclopedia):
Sold? Lovely. As with all my previous books, The N64 Encyclopedia is available at all good book shops (and some rubbish ones too, probably) around the world.
Be it Amazon (all countries), Waterstones, Barnes & Noble, Indigo / Chapters or even Walmart, just search for ‘Chris Scullion’ on your site of choice and with any luck, you’ll find it available to pre-order.
If you live in the UK though, and want to support yer man directly, then until the end of August you can buy a signed copy directly from me. Here’s how to do it.
Signed copy pre-orders
I frankly don’t care where you choose to buy the book from: I’m just delighted and hugely grateful that you’re taking an interest in my work at all.
That said, if you’re the type who likes something a bit more personal in return, I’m selling a strictly limited number of N64 Encyclopedia books directly here.
The book had previously been an open pre-order until the end of August, but then I was took by surprise when it actually turned up at the publisher’s warehouse earlier than expected.
Because of this, I had to order without knowing the final numbers. The benefit of this is that I ordered more than I expected I would reach by the end of August, meaning now it’s September you still have the chance to get one.
The signed books are strictly limited to 150 copies and we’re into the 100s now, so if you’d still like one they’re still around but may start thinking about getting a wriggle on.
Here are the brutally honest pros and cons of buying directly from me.
PROS
• It’ll be personally signed and numbered by yer man Scullion.
• It’s in my possession now, so you’ll get it relatively quickly. Other retailers are a bit of a dice-roll: Amazon was weeks late at delivering my SNES book, but surprisingly quick with the Mega Drive one.
• It’ll be sent through recorded delivery by the Royal Mail and will come with PayPal buyer protection in case anything goes wrong.
• You’ll be supporting me in the best way because I get a far greater royalty for each book sold: £15 for signed books sold through Tired Old Hack, £3 for books sold everywhere else, roughly £1.50 for books sold on Amazon.
CONS
• Although I’m only charging the cover price £30 plus postage and packaging (£36 in total), this is still probably the most expensive way to get the book, since I can’t offer a discount on either the cover price or shipping, so almost every other book shop will be cheaper (Amazon in particular).
• If you order directly from the publisher Pen & Sword Books you may get it earlier than anyone else, because they have their stock in too.
Still keen to buy from me? Lovely.
Before I give you the PayPal link to put down your pre-order, please make sure you read the instructions below. It’s all fairly straightforward but if any of the steps are missing it could hold up the process:
SERIOUSLY, PLEASE READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS. THIS IS NOT A PS5, IT WILL NOT SELL OUT WHILE YOU’RE READING. WHEN THERE ARE ONLY A COUPLE LEFT I’LL CLOSE THIS ARTICLE AND ONLY TAKE ORDERS VIA TWITTER, SO TAKE YOUR TIME.
• Before you even click anything, please bear in mind I can only deliver to people in the UK for now. I’m going to be dealing with a large number of orders and I’m handling them all myself, so I need to keep things simple with a single price and a single delivery type. Again, sorry for the bold text, but UK ORDERS ONLY PLEASE. I promise you every single time I get a couple of international orders who ignore this and I have to get in touch to refund them.
• Click the link below. You’ll be automatically taken to a PayPal site already set up to pay me the full price. It’ll cost £36 – this covers the full price of the book, packing material and recorded delivery postage through Royal Mail (so I can chase it in the very unlikely event that you don’t get your book).
• Look carefully for a bit that asks you to specify what the payment is for (apparently the PayPal app has changed its UI a bit so you may have to look for this). Click that and leave me a note telling me what name you’d like me to sign the book to. While I’ll be using your real name to post the book, if you’d rather I signed it to your username or nickname, this is where you can let me know. If you don’t want me to sign it to any name, please write “no name” in the notes so I know. If you don’t write anything at all I’ll have to chase you up to find out what you want, and if I can’t get hold of you or you don’t reply I’ll just sign my name and nothing else.
• Make sure the payment is marked as “paying for goods or a service” instead of just sending money to a friend. Not only does this help protect your payment if the delivery goes missing, it actually lets you give me your address. Otherwise, you know, I can’t send you the thing. A few people always miss this part out and it’s a huge hassle for us both so let me make it clearer in bold: This bit is VERY IMPORTANT. If you don’t choose to pay for goods or a service, it won’t let you give me your address. I need your address to send you the book, and if I can’t get hold of you I’ll have to refund your order.
• You should see the option to choose your address. PLEASE make sure you have the correct address there, because that’s where I’m going to be sending the book. There’ll be an option to add a new address if you don’t have one stored on PayPal, or if the one you still have on your PayPal account is out of date. Last year one person accidentally had their old address listed and only managed to get their copy because luckily a family member still lived there. I can’t chase this up for you if it goes to the wrong house, so PLEASE make sure it’s right.
• Job done! Once I get the order in I’ll personally send you an email (to the email your PayPal account is registered to) and confirm that I got the order. I’ll be sending these manually, so don’t be alarmed if you don’t get a confirmation email right away (other than a PayPal one). As soon as I’m back on my PC I’ll send out any outstanding emails. Well, all my emails are outstanding but you know what I mean.
• Once the books turn up at my house and I send them all out, you should automatically get an email telling you when it’s been shipped out.
Right, with all that said, if you’re up for it, here’s the link:
N64 ENCYCLOPEDIA SIGNED PRE-ORDER
If you do decide to buy the book, whether you order a signed copy or order from somewhere else, thank you so much for doing so.
I’m so happy that the Encyclopedias are building up a nice wee following now, and I’m particularly happy with The N64 Encyclopedia because there’s a bit more room for each game to breathe in this one, plus the addition of Japanese games is something people always ask about.
I’ll see you next year for The Dreamcast Encyclopedia, but until then I hope you enjoy this trip back to the 64-bit era.
Thanks everyone.
Chris ❤️
4K Nintendo Wallpapers: The first wave
Hello there!
Earlier today I tweeted some AI upscaled versions of old Nintendo wallpapers (mostly Japanese ones), which I’d scaled up to 4K.
They seem to be quite popular but, as someone rightly pointed out, Twitter compresses them.
Here, then, are said wallpapers (as well as a few more). Clicking them should give you the full size, uncompressed versions.
Please note, though, that since these are AI upscales, there will still be some slight imperfections when you zoom them up to full size and scrutinise them in detail. There’s some dot-joining going on here with the machine learning so it isn’t going to be perfect zoomed in, but as wallpapers on your screen they should look fantastic.
At some point (when life’s a bit less hectic) I’d love to put together a proper wee archive of official video game wallpapers, going as far back as I can and upscaling them all. If any of you have collections of old wallpapers that you never got around to deleting, chuck me an email (contact details are at the side) because I’d love to get them and upscale them.
There’ll be (a lot) more of this to come if you like it.
The complete making of one of my Encyclopedias
A couple of days ago I signed off on the final proof of the N64 Encyclopedia, meaning it’s finally good to go to the printers, with the aim being to release it in September this year.
It will be my fourth Encyclopedia in four years, and the aim going forwards is to continue releasing one a year, with the exception of some books which may take longer (PlayStation Encyclopedia, I’m looking at you).
Every time I talk about my books on Twitter, I regularly get people asking me how I managed to pull it off. After all, these books aren’t small, so pulling them off on an annual basis can’t be easy, surely?
Well, it is. Nah, just kidding, it’s intensely stressful. But it’s made a little easier with proper preparation and a great publishing team helping me out along the way.
For those curious to know how I make these books, then, I’ve decided to put together this article detailing the entire process, from the initial concept all the way up to the book arriving at your home.
Specifically, this article will look at how I put together the SNES Encyclopedia, but will also point out any times where the process differed for other books in the series. Continue reading “The complete making of one of my Encyclopedias”
Video: TMNT The Cowabunga Collection – all 13 games explained
Last week it was announced that Konami will be releasing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Cowabunga Collection later this year.
The new compilation will include 13 retro games covering every major TMNT game released on arcade, NES, SNES, Mega Drive and Game Boy.
As a massive fan of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, if you lived round in the UK back in the day), this has instantly become one of my most-wanted games of the year.
Not everyone will be familiar with these games, though: most of them were released in the early ’90s and a couple were even released in the late ’80s.
With that in mind, then, here’s yer man Scullion’s rundown of all 13 games for your viewing pleasure:
Jumping For Joy – pre-order my platformer book now!
As you may know, I’ve carved out a bit of a side career for myself with my series of video game encyclopedias.
While these will continue to be released on an annual basis (with the N64 Encyclopedia due later this year), I also spent the first half of 2021 writing a spin-off book dedicated to my favourite game genre, the platformer.
Jumping For Joy: The History of Platform Video Games is a 168-page hardback beauty that spans every era of the genre, from Pitfall! all the way up to Sonic Frontiers (though brilliantly, because of print run lengths, it’s still at the stage where it’s rumoured to be called Sonic Rangers).
And, as with my past couple of books, if you live in the UK you can pre-order a signed copy directly from yer man Scullion for a limited time. All you have to do is have the dedication to scroll through all my bullshit here and you’ll find full instructions at the bottom of this article, along with a link to order one.
The book consists of three main sections: the first covers every single Mario platformer ever released, from the arcade version of Donkey Kong all the way up to Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury on the Switch. And yes, this includes every Yoshi, Wario and Donkey Kong platformer too.
You can’t have a section about Mario in a book about platformers and pretend his long-running (literally) rival doesn’t exist, so the second section is all about Sonic games.
Again, every single Sonic platformer is covered here, from the original 1991 Sonic the Hedgehog all the way up to Sonic Colours Ultimate and the two as-yet unreleased titles, Sonic Origins and ‘Next-Gen Sonic’ (which we now know to be Sonic Frontiers.
Finally, it’s the main event: an enormous 100-page section dedicated to 50 other iconic or notable platformers throughout history.
To be clear, this isn’t a countdown of the 50 best platformers ever. It’s a chronological journey through the genre, told using games that stood out in a memorable way. Maybe they changed the genre in a unique way, maybe they were the shining example of a certain sub-genre, maybe they were just too bloody good to ignore.
Each of these 50 games gets a full two-page spread like this:
As with my previous books, Jumping For Joy will be available at all good book shops (and some rubbish ones too, probably).
At the moment it’s available on the official Pen & Sword website (the book’s publisher) – if you order from them you’ll get it first. You can also find it on Amazon UK and a number of other European Amazon stores.
As the book nears release and other book stores’ ISBN scraping shenanigans start kicking in, you’ll be able to buy it from your favourite store of choice, be that Amazon (all countries), Waterstones, Barnes & Noble, Indigo Chapters, Walmart or what have you. Just search for ‘Chris Scullion’ on your site of choice and with any luck you’ll find it available to pre-order.
Signed copy pre-orders
Signed copies are sold out, sorry!
If you do decide to buy the book, whether you order a signed copy or order from somewhere else, thank you so much for doing so.
The Encyclopedias are slowly building up a dedicated following and I’m massively appreciative of that, but this spin-off book is more of a gamble so I’m really curious to see how it goes.
This one’s written more in my old ONM writing style, with more bad jokes, and I had a fun time writing it, so I really hope that shines through when reading it.
Thanks everyone.
Chris x
TOH Podcast 46 – Kate with a K, Gray with an A
In this special bumper two-hour bastard of a podcast, I’m finally joined again by the brilliant Kate Gray, who returns due to popular demand. Engage ear canals:
In episode 46 Kate and I discuss the backlash to Pokémon Legends: Arceus’s graphics and generally chat about what it’s like when you review a triple-A game and are eventually subjected to a backlash. It’s basically a big moan to make us feel better.
Don’t worry though, we also find time to make jokes about Shigeru Miyamoto smothering people in their sleep.
How to listen
If you’re just listening while browsing, the podcast was at the top of this article. Click play and you’re off and running.
If you’d rather have the MP3 as a downloadable file so you can stick it on your media player of choice, right-click and save this link.
If you’ve got iTunes, you can find the podcast there by searching for ‘Tired Old Hack’ or just following this link. Please subscribe if you enjoy it, and write up a wee review.
Alternatively, the Tired Old Hack Podcast is now on Spotify! You can listen to it by searching for ‘Tired Old Hack’ or by following this link if you have the appropriate app installed.
Or, if you’d rather use your own podcast app, use this feed URL to subscribe to the podcast and get access to new episodes as they’re added:
https://tiredoldhackdotcom.wordpress.com/category/podcast/feed/
10 obscure Activision games you can pretentiously cite while talking about the Xbox deal
Ever since it was announced last week that Microsoft had agreed to buy Activision Blizzard, the internet has been full of people rhyming off Activision games that could now potentially be resurrected as Xbox exclusives.
Naturally, the usual suspects keep popping up: Call of Duty, Crash Bandicoot, Tony Hawk, Guitar Hero and so on. But the reality is that given Activision’s 40+ year history, if you really wanted to you could delve way back into the company’s archives to come up with something obscure to make you sound really clever.
And when I say ‘really clever’, I mean ‘like an absolute wank who clearly just looked up a list of Activision games on Wikipedia to pretend you have an encyclopaedic knowledge, when in reality you’ve got no fucking idea what Rescue on Fractalus is, but you saw LucasArts was involved so fuck it, it’ll sound good’.
Well, allow yer man to put in the effort for you. I’ve put together this list of 10 games that nobody in their right mind would actually cite as their most-wanted Activision comeback, all for your benefit.
All you have to do is memorise these ten monologues, and the next time you want to sound like an insufferable know-it-all prick at a party, simply recite one word-for-word. You’re welcome!
Sky Jinks
“I know we’re all talking about Call of Duty, and sure, that’s probably fine if you like your games a little mainstream. But have you ever heard of Sky Jinks?
“You probably haven’t. That’s okay, most people under 40 haven’t. It was an Atari 2600 game released in 1982 and is about flying a plane round a series of pylons in a sort of slalom race.
“It’s been commonly reported that the game was used by social psychologist Roy Baumeister to conduct psychological research into performance anxiety.
“Roy Baumeister? Surely you’re familiar with his work? No? Oh dear. Well, I strongly recommend his non-fiction thesis entitled Is There Anything Good About Men: How Cultures Flourish By Exploiting Men. I think you’ll find it fascinating.
“Sorry? An incel? No, I think you must have mistaken me, madam.”
Shamu’s Deep Sea Adventures
“Don’t you miss the good old days when SeaWorld was allowed to imprison giant killer whales without those pesky tree-huggers getting all uppity in their faux leather waistcoats?
“Join me, colleague, as I petition Microsoft to remaster Shamu’s Deep Sea Adventures, a game in which you try to prevent SeaWorld being destroyed.
“Not by do-gooder beatniks, I should stress. Sweet Christ, no. In this game, you control Shamu as he literally fights Poseidon himself (who wants to replace SeaWorld with Atlantis).
“A game in which you literally fight on behalf of your captors? Sounds a bit like paying tax in a socialist government, am I right *guffaw* *pushes glasses up nose*”
Little Computer People
“I’ve always been livid at the continued success of The Sims and its successors, because anyone with half a brain knows it wasn’t an original idea.
“No, we all know that Activision released Little Computer People back in 1985 and was basically exactly the same game (except for the parts where it was different).
“If Microsoft had a shred of sense it would return Little Computer People to its rightful place and dethrone the charlatan pretender that has falsely claimed dominance for so long.
“There’s no better time, either, for what could be more relevant in the modern era than a game about surveillance and watching people through your computer?
“After all, have you heard of Twitch? It’s a… oh, you have? Hrmph. Well I suppose they’ll let pretty much anyone access video streaming these days.”
Tongue of the Fatman
“I’ll tell you, if there’s one game I’d love to see make a comeback as a consequence of this new deal, it’s Tongue of the Fatman.
“You may know it best as Slaughter Sport on the Sega Mega Drive, or maybe as Mondu’s Fight Palace on the Commodore 64, but chances are you don’t know it at all because you aren’t quite as well-versed as me on these things.
“The game itself isn’t much cop, but the final boss does have a large stomach with a face on it and it can lash you with its tongue like a whip.
“And if there’s anything I know, it’s how to give someone a right good tongue-lashing, especially when they’ve had the gall to park near my home. That’s private property. Actually, it isn’t, but it’s close enough to unnerve me and that’s just as bad.”
Zork Zero: The Revenge of Megaboz
“You know, by acquiring Activision, Microsoft is also rather shrewdly acquiring the companies it had already acquired. A sort of acquireception, if you will. It may not be a word yet, but I have enough clout to make it a reality.
“This means it also owns Infocom, the interactive fiction specialists who were merged into Activision back in 1986, and with it their host of adventure games too.
“Any hapless fucking prole can cite Zork as an example: hell, the original was included as an easter egg in a Call of Duty game, which shows you how sickeningly mainstream it is.
“No, friend, I’m more interested in Zork Zero, which is the eighth game in the series. My knowledge on it is patchy, but the very fact I know about the eighth anything in the series means I must be pretty knowledgeable.
“Incidentally, I mentioned this game to a Scotsman once, and the silly jock bastard started laughing when I said ‘Megaboz’ for some reason.”
Band Hero
“I appreciate that some ‘clever’ souls have realised that Microsoft could now resurrect Guitar Hero, should it so desire, but that’s just so mind-numbingly predictable it makes me want to yawn my soul out of my chinos.
“Instead, we should be petitioning for the relaunch of Band Hero, the lesser-known spin-off which featured a wider range of artists than just those in the overused rock genre, which I generally find to be somewhat beneath me.
“It doesn’t just appeal to those with a refined musical palate like me, of course. Who wouldn’t want to have another chance to strum along to the likes of 3 Doors Down, Joss Stone and Hilary Duff? That’s who the youngsters still like these days, isn’t it?
“What’s more, players could export the songs to other Guitar Hero games, which proved to be a slight miscue when people unlocked Kurt Cobain in Guitar Hero 5 and then used him to sing YMCA by The Village People.
“The whole thing led to a messy lawsuit when No Doubt sued Activision for the same reason, but if there’s one thing Activision knows, it’s lawsuits.”
Shanghai
“Have you ever referred to mahjong solitaire as Shanghai? Did you know that the name is actually a trademark owned by Activision (and occasionally licensed out to Sunsoft back in the day)?
“Well, now you do. And I’ll bet you feel like a prize goose for all the times you’ve called it Shanghai to your friends, just like when people say they’re going to do the hoovering instead of the vacuuming.
“How about Astroturf? Or Band-Aid? Or Sellotape? Or Biro? Or Bubble Wrap? Or Dictaphone? Or Frisbee? Or JCB? Or Jacuzzi? All the same thing.
“Or Onesies? Or Tannoy? Or Tupperware? Or Super Glue? Or Rollerblades? Or Post-Its? Or… I sense I’m losing you here, I’m trying to educate you.”
Paparazzi!: Tales of Tinseltown
“You know something, there’s nothing better in my eyes than when a jumped-up celebrity is ruthlessly hunted down by a paparazzo looking for that jackpot photo.
“You know some of them literally lie in the gutters so they can try to get a shot in between a female celebrity’s legs when they’re trying to get out of a car?
“Of course, the woke brigade don’t allow things like that these days, some nonsense about common decency and not being vermin, but it’s all a lot of fluster if you ask me.
“My point is that Paparazzi! is an early FMV game about the good old days, when you could spy on situations from afar with a wide-angle lens and try to get literal money shots.
“Look, I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that, Pokémon Snap is exactly the same thing. If you replace the Pokémon with human women.”
Spycraft: The Great Game
“Speaking of FMV games, it takes a great intellect to appreciate the genre – a lot of saps write it off, when in reality those capable of thinking outside the box can actually see its benefits.
“Take Spycraft, a game about an attempted assassination on the US President. Granted, it’s a completely linear game full of video clips, but the thing is as tense as it gets.
“Not only that, the game was created in collaboration with former CIA director William Colby and former KGB Major-General Oleg Kalugin, both of whom appear in the game too.
“Just a year after the game was released, Colby died when he went out on a solo canoe trip and his canoe was ‘found’ lying upside-down. Some people suggest foul play, naturally.
“Meanwhile, Kalugin is still alive and well, and if you’d like my lengthy take on the history of Russian espionage despite me having never studied it to any real academic level then I’ll happily bend your ear for a few hours: this party’s pretty boring anyway.”
Leather Goddesses of Phobos II: Gas Pump Girls Meet the Pulsating Inconvenience from Planet X!
“A lot has been said recently about Bobby Kotick and the way he’s overseen rampant sexism and discrimination in Activision without making any real effort to do anything about it. But I call both poppycock and balderdash on that in equal measure.
“After all, just a year after Kotick became CEO of Activision in 1991, the company released this charming little adventure game which was a little saucy in a purely harmless way.
“I have no doubt whatsoever that should it be re-released in the present era it would be met with the same welcoming open arms than it was in 1992, when it… well, it didn’t review very well, actually.
“But listen, neither did The Wizard of Oz when it was first released in cinemas. And how many Academy Awards did It’s A Wonderful Life, Reservoir Dogs and The Shawshank Redemption win combined? Zero, my friend.
“And if we live in a world where the likes of The Terminator, Drive and The Big Lebowski can exist without enjoying the taste of Oscar success, I’m sure we can live in a world where Leather Goddesses of Phobos II can get a second chance as well.
“Wait, come back. I’m so alone.”
If you enjoyed this and other articles and want to help me write them more frequently, please consider donating to my Patreon account. You’ll get early access to some articles as well as other behind the scenes information on the site and my books.
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TOH Podcast 45 – Back to business
Now that normal service has resumed in yer man Scullion’s life, that means you can expect a regular helping of audio goodness in your ears again. And what do you know, here’s some now:
In episode 45 I’m joined by my wife Louise for the first time in around 3 years, to discuss how our three-year-old daughter is already better than her at Forza Horizon 5.
We also discuss NFTs (ugh), console wars (ugh) and what we’re most looking forward to in 2022.
How to listen
If you’re just listening while browsing, the podcast was at the top of this article. Click play and you’re off and running.
If you’d rather have the MP3 as a downloadable file so you can stick it on your media player of choice, right-click and save this link.
If you’ve got iTunes, you can find the podcast there by searching for ‘Tired Old Hack’ or just following this link. Please subscribe if you enjoy it, and write up a wee review.
Alternatively, the Tired Old Hack Podcast is now on Spotify! You can listen to it by searching for ‘Tired Old Hack’ or by following this link if you have the appropriate app installed.
Or, if you’d rather use your own podcast app, use this feed URL to subscribe to the podcast and get access to new episodes as they’re added:
https://tiredoldhackdotcom.wordpress.com/category/podcast/feed/
Tired Old Hack 