Review round-up: Switch eShop special

Last week a metric fuckton of games (trust me, I weighed it) were released on the Switch eShop, so I spent the weekend rinsing the shit out of some of them for your consumer advice pleasure. In today’s round up:

• is Thimbleweed Park more like Monkey Island or Space Chimps?
• is Golf Story a legend at fore play, or an awkward fumble out-of-bounds?
• does Picross S offer another brilliant square meal, or should it be blocked?
• is Butcher a glorious helping of gore, or a grotty little gunge pit?
• does Binaries offer double delights, or a second helping of slop?
• does Conga Master Party have toe-tapping skills, or two left feet?
• is Deemo an operatic masterpiece, or a Fisher Price xylophone? Continue reading “Review round-up: Switch eShop special”

Pokken Tournament DX (Switch) review

Nintendo / Bandai Namco Studios
Nintendo Switch

Pokken Tournament was a game that deserved better.

Originally released in Japanese arcades, this odd fighting game eventually made it to the Wii U in March 2016, by which time Nintendo’s system was already hanging onto a cliff edge by its pinky.

Despite this it still managed to shift around 1.3 million copies, which is bloody good going when you consider only 13 million Wii U consoles were sold.

With Pokken Tournament DX, the hope is surely that – as with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe – by porting the game over to Switch it’ll get another chance at reaching a wider audience.

It really does deserve to, mind you, because it’s actually a fun little fighter that makes good use of the Pokemon licence. Continue reading “Pokken Tournament DX (Switch) review”

The complete history of Nintendo arcade games

A couple of days ago Nintendo streamed its latest Nintendo Direct presentation.

For many the most notable announcement was that Doom and Wolfenstein II are coming to the Switch, while the five minutes of new Super Mario Odyssey footage was a great way to wrap things up and get people talking after the Direct had ended.

For massively nerdy Nintendo historians (like me), though, the biggest news of the Direct was that Hamster Corporation – the studio currently responsible for the regular Neo-Geo games appearing on Switch and other consoles – will be bringing some of Nintendo’s old arcade games to the Switch as part of its Arcade Archives series. Continue reading “The complete history of Nintendo arcade games”

Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle review

Ubisoft / Ubisoft Paris
Nintendo Switch

Contrary to popular belief, the Rabbids haven’t always been irritating, overly French characters who’ve only ever starred in shite games.

There was one underrated Wii game, the now forgotten Rabbids Go Home, in which Ubisoft’s loopy lagomorphs (that’s right) ditched their usual mini-game mediocrity for an adventure game that was genuinely hilarious. I promise.

I’ll talk about Rabbids Go Home some other time: the important thing is that it’s always been proof to me that as annoying as the Rabbids usually are (that ‘funny’ scream cuts right through me), they can be entertaining if used well. It’s just that this has only happened once before.

Well, you can now make that ‘twice’, because Ubisoft has once again managed to pull off a Rabbids game that will genuinely raise a smile. And this time, Nintendo’s along for the ride. Continue reading “Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle review”

Sonic Mania (Switch) review

Sega / Christian Whitehead
Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC (Switch version reviewed)

I fucking hated the Chemical Plant Zone.

If all the zones in Sonic The Hedgehog 2 were like family members, the Chemical Plant Zone was my racist uncle: it was part of a larger group I loved, but any time I encountered it I had a lengthy, uncomfortable time interacting with it.

Even as a young 9-year-old sprog who was obsessed with Sonic and excitedly got his copy of the sequel on what was officially known as Sonic Twosday – Tuesday, 21 November 1992 – the Chemical Plant Zone rubbed me up the wrong way.

Yes, friends, I hated it. But the key word is ‘hated’, in the past tense. Amazingly, nearly 25 years later, I’ve come to peace with it: and it’s thanks to Sonic Mania. Continue reading “Sonic Mania (Switch) review”

Splatoon 2: single-player review

Nintendo EPD / Nintendo

Splatoon 2 is out this Friday and yer man Scullion’s been playing it for the past week. Well, sort of.

You see, I received my review code the day I headed out to Canada to visit my father-in-law, and it turns out my Switch can’t detect his router (it’s fixable but I don’t want to mess about with his stuff).

As such, my online multiplayer experience with the game has been limited to about seven or eight matches that I’ve had while sitting in Ontario malls, connected to the mall Wi-Fi as I’ve waited for Louise to finish shopping.

That certainly isn’t enough to justify a review of the game’s multiplayer aspect, so here’s the deal: having an offline Switch still hasn’t prevented me from rinsing the utter piss out of Splatoon’s single-player Hero mode instead.

Here, then, is my review: not of Splatoon 2 as a whole, but of what you have available to you any time you’re playing without an internet connection (on certain public transport, for example). Continue reading “Splatoon 2: single-player review”