The Tired Old Hack NES Mini stream (REPLAY!)

nes-miniThe NES Mini is finally with us, even though that isn’t really what it’s called (it’s the NES Classic Edition in America and the Nintendo Classic Mini NES in Europe).

Over the past couple of weeks you may have seen all manner of YouTubers and website journalists giving their takes on the system. Now, as someone who paid legit cash money for the privilege of having to wait until launch day to get it, it’s my turn.

This Saturday (12 November 2016) I streamed all 30 NES Mini games in a massive five-hour Twitch stream. Continue reading “The Tired Old Hack NES Mini stream (REPLAY!)”

15 games that sound ruder than they actually are

It’s hard work getting your game spotted on shop shelves sometimes, what with all the other titles vying for the public’s attention.

Sometimes you need something to catch their eye: a strong cover image, some positive magazine quotes from reputable publications, something like that.

This one isn't in the list but it was a strong contender
This one isn’t in the list but it was a strong contender

And sometimes you just need a title that makes people stop, do a double-take and say: “hang on, what?”

A few games over the years have had names that caught me off-guard and made me think: “They can’t really mean that, can they?”

Of course, most of the time they don’t mean that at all, and it’s just an unfortunate coincidence that their game’s title also happens to mean something offensive.

With that in mind, here are fifteen of my favourite examples of classic “did they really call it that?” moments. Continue reading “15 games that sound ruder than they actually are”

Cover Me Badd #4 – The 20 worst GameCube game covers

Cover Me Badd is my regular series looking at the worst video game covers in history. Each article will focus on a specific format. If you missed it, catch up on Part 1: NES gamesPart 2: SNES games and Part 3: Nintendo 64 games.

It’s been some time since I exposed your unsuspecting eyes to the 20 worst Nintendo 64 covers of all time. Now said eyes have had time to heal, we can continue.

While the quality of covers greatly improved during the GameCube days for the most part, that doesn’t mean there weren’t some stinkers there too. Let’s continue the groan-fest with a look at the 20 worst GameCube covers ever. As ever, click on each cover to see it in all its full-sized ‘glory’. Continue reading “Cover Me Badd #4 – The 20 worst GameCube game covers”

The day the console war stopped

You may have heard the World War I story about how, on Christmas Day in 1914, British and German soldiers stopped their fighting for one day, opting to toss their differences to the side and instead play football and exchange gifts on No Man’s Land.

In my school, we had our own war. It was far more frivolous – lives weren’t lost and we used words, not weapons – but it still mattered to us. And on one special day, we had our own truce too. Continue reading “The day the console war stopped”

Cover Me Badd #3 – The 20 worst Nintendo 64 game covers

Cover Me Badd is my regular series looking at the worst video game covers in history. Each article will focus on a specific format. If you missed it, catch up on Part 1: NES games and Part 2: SNES games.

It was a mere month and a half ago that I regaled you with tales of the 20 worst SNES covers of all time. Oh, how we chuckled.

If you still pine for that lovely time some 40-odd days ago, now’s your lucky moment, as we both continue our journey through shit box art memory lane. This time, it’s the Nintendo 64’s turn. Continue reading “Cover Me Badd #3 – The 20 worst Nintendo 64 game covers”

Cover Me Badd #2 – The 20 worst SNES game covers

This isn't in the list. That should tell how you bad I'm talking here
This isn’t in the list. That should tell how you bad the ones that made it are

Cover Me Badd is my regular series looking at the worst video game covers in history. Each article will focus on a specific format. If you missed it, catch up on Part 1: NES games.

A couple of months back I looked at the 20 worst NES covers of all time, and promised I’d continue by moving on to SNES games at a later date.

That later date is now, and so without further ado I now present to you the 20 worst SNES covers I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen them all. Continue reading “Cover Me Badd #2 – The 20 worst SNES game covers”

The 30 best Wii games

This is the fifth in my ’30 Best’ series of articles in which I discuss my favourite games ever on a system-by-system basis for the first time. In case you missed them, I’ve already covered the 30 best Amiga games30 best DS games30 best GameCube games and 30 best Dreamcast games.

As before, because this is my own personal list and not a collaborative effort for a magazine or website, there will be some glaring omissions of games I simply didn’t play or didn’t like. So don’t lose your shit if Trauma Center isn’t on here – it’s just not one of my personal favourites.

If one of your own recommendations isn’t on the list, feel free to give it a shoutout in the comments below (politely though, mind) and tell everyone what it meant to you.

wiiThere are a number of so-called ‘gamers’ who are keen on rewriting history and suggesting the Wii was the console that single-handedly ruined ‘gaming’ for everyone.

In reality, the Wii was the most important console since the original PlayStation, in that it opened up gaming to an entirely new audience. But of course, you don’t need me to tell you that: you’re a lovely smart person.

To some this expansion of the audience was a bad thing: there are those who will tell you the Wii introduced the concept of ‘casual’ gaming which started with party games and eventually led to mobile free-to-play mania.

These people suggest that, one or two games aside, the Wii was swimming in casual titles and was sorely lacking in ‘proper’ games. These people are idiots. Continue reading “The 30 best Wii games”

Retro Vault – Night Trap review

Retro Vault is my video series looking at vintage games from back in the day – both popular ones and those forgotten over time.

The video can be found below, but if you’re more of a reader I’ve provided a modified version of the script after the jump so you can read my thoughts in written form instead.

Continue reading “Retro Vault – Night Trap review”

Cover Me Badd #1 – The 20 worst NES game covers

Cover Me Badd is the first in a regular series looking at the worst video game covers in history. Each article will focus on a specific format. And no, I haven’t misspelled ‘bad’, you pesky youngster.

Hammerin' Harry isn't in my list. So that should tell you something
Hammerin’ Harry isn’t in my list. So that should tell you something

As anyone who’s read my film review site will know, I’m a fan of shite things. If something’s painfully awful I’m right on top of it like white on rice.

One of my favourite examples of this is video game covers. If you know me you know I’m a massive retro gamer and over the years I’ve seen my fair share of terrible game box art, to the extent that I’ve become something of a crap cover connoisseur.

In the first Cover Me Badd article on Tired Old Hack I’m going to kick off by exposing the worst game covers for the console most dear to my heart, the trusty Nintendo Entertainment System. ‘Enjoy’. Continue reading “Cover Me Badd #1 – The 20 worst NES game covers”

WWE games by the numbers: a stat nerd’s paradise

WWESmackDownHereComesThePainI love wrestling games. All of them. Even the shite ones.

Wrestle War on the Mega Drive? Love it. WCW Backstage Assault on the PlayStation? Love it. World Wrestling Championship on PS2? Okay, not that one.

Of course, given my lifetime passion for WWE, it’s the games based on that particular promotion that I love the most. There isn’t a WWE (formerly WWF) game that I haven’t played.

Recently, WWE 2K16 was released. It’s the 57th WWE video game released, and if that stat excites you a little then grab some tissues, because that’s the tip of the iceberg.

Yes friends, I’m about to take you on a tour of WWE game history using nothing but stats and numbers. It’s going to be the nerdiest thing to happen to wrestling games since someone created Dragon Ball and Avengers characters in WWE 2K15. Continue reading “WWE games by the numbers: a stat nerd’s paradise”