Hands-on with Nintendo’s E3 2019 demos

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E3’s all well and good but yer man Scullion can’t be doing with all that hassle. The 13-hour flight to LA would be bad enough, but given my global celebrity status I’m sure I also wouldn’t be able to move for autograph requests, people asking for selfies and offers of marriage.

Thankfully, Nintendo recently invited me to its UK headquarters to spend time with some of its E3 demos, away from all the hustle and bustle of the main show.

Not only that, I was also allowed to record footage for some of the games, meaning below you can see the likes of Link’s Awakening and Luigi’s Mansion 3 in perfect quality as recorded by yours truly.

Here’s my impressions of what I played, along with my videos (including commentary on what you’re seeing) where applicable. Continue reading “Hands-on with Nintendo’s E3 2019 demos” →

Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) review for people who don’t want to create anything

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Nintendo / Nintendo EPD
Nintendo Switch

super-mario-maker-2Let me just make something clear so you know where I stand before going into this review: I’m very much a left-brained person.

For those unaware of the concept, it’s said that people who are more creative and artistic tend to use the right side of their brain more, whereas those who are more analytical and logical favour the left side.

Most of the time games are perfectly suited to both left and right-brained people: you’re given a task and can reach the goal using whatever logical or creative means you see fit.

Every now and then, however, you get a game that mainly appeals to right-brained, artistic types, where most of the fun is achieved through making your own creations. You know the type, games like LittleBigPlanet, Minecraft and Super Mario Maker.

For left-brained folk like me, these games are not a cavalcade of possibilities: instead, they more often result in staring blankly at an empty canvas with no bright ideas on how to fill it. For us, these games live or die not by their creation tools, but by everything else they offer (usually user-created content).

With that in mind, then, this review of Super Mario Maker 2 is going to do something a little different. You can already find plenty of reviews of the game on other sites, most of which will presumably have dedicated a hefty chunk to the creation tools.

From a completely blind approach – I never read other reviews before writing my own – I see that my long-time pal and former CVG editor Andy Robinson has reviewed the game over at VGC, so based on his track record I’m going to confidently assume that’s where you should go for a ‘proper’ review of the game, creation mode and all.

Instead, I’m going to look at the game from the point of view of someone who has no interest in the creativity element, and just wants an infinite supply of Mario stages to play. If that’s you, welcome aboard. Continue reading “Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) review for people who don’t want to create anything” →

TOH Podcast 39 – E3 2019 Special

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

Another E3 has come and gone, but what did yer man Scullion think of it? 

Because I was covering this year’s E3 for VGC, I haven’t yet been able to give my own opinion on everything that went down this year.

This, then, is your first chance to hear my verdicts on the presentations by Google, EA, Microsoft, Bethesda, Devolver, Ubisoft, Square Enix and Nintendo.

How to listen

If you’re just listening while browsing, the podcast was at the top of this article. Click play and you’re off and running.

If you’d rather have the MP3 as a downloadable file so you can stick it on your media player of choice, right-click and save this link.

If you’ve got iTunes, you can find the podcast there by searching for ‘Tired Old Hack’ or just following this link. Please subscribe if you enjoy it, and write up a wee review.

Or, if you’d rather use your own podcast app, use this feed URL to subscribe to the podcast and get access to new episodes as they’re added:

https://tiredoldhackdotcom.wordpress.com/category/podcast/feed/

My Arcade Pixel Player review

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments

With retro gaming all the rage these days, there are plenty of companies keen to appeal to the old-school gamers out there with products that appeal to their childhoods.

California-based My Arcade is one such outfit looking to tap into that vein with its Pixel Player gizmo, but it’s gone one step further by securing something others often fail to acquire: an official licence.

Whereas most of these retro handheld thingies tend to chuck a bunch of unofficial, homebrew and bootleg games on there and slap a price on it, My Arcade has teamed up with Data East to include eight of its classic games on the system.

Granted, it does still have said unofficial, homebrew and bootleg games on there too – there are 308 games in total – but at least you know there are some legit offerings.

Just to clarify before we get into more depth, we’re talking NES emulation here. Although most of the Data East games included in the Pixel Player had arcade versions, it’s the ports released on Nintendo’s 8-bit system that you’ll find instead.

That said, let’s break it down a bit more. Continue reading “My Arcade Pixel Player review” →

Kartography #5 – Team Sonic Racing

Published on by Chris Scullion4 Comments

Kartography is my regular series in which I look at licensed kart racers throughout gaming history, and figure out where they fit on my all-time karting game leaderboard.

For more information on my scoring policy for Kartography, check out this introductory article.

Sega / Sumo Digital
PS4, Xbox One, Switch, PC (PS4 version reviewed)

My last Kartography article looked at Sonic R, Sonic’s debut home console racing experience.

Given that today marks the launch of the latest one – Team Sonic Racing – it only makes sense that a Kartography double-bill is in order.

Thanks to Sega, yer man Scullion has been playing the PS4 Pro version of the game for the past week and a half, which is just enough time to deconstruct the entire thing in trademark Kartography style.

In case you aren’t aware, Team Sonic Racing’s main gimmick is team races, where you’re grouped together with two other partners and your Grand Prix points are all added up for a total score.

Where will this new twist place it on my Kartography leaderboard though? Let’s find out. Continue reading “Kartography #5 – Team Sonic Racing” →

TOH Game Club 3 – Earthbound

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments

First, there was Zelda II. Then there was StarTropics. Now it’s time to go 16-bit.

The success of the first two Tired Old Hack Game Clubs meant it was only a matter of time before we did it all over again. That time is now, though I suppose that should already be obvious by this point. I mean, you knew what you were clicking.

Um… let’s go.

The idea

In case you missed the first two, the Tired Old Hack Game Club is a new group in which, for a month at a time, like-minded gamers can play through retro games together.

Instead of trying to decipher a potentially troublesome retro game and figure out what makes it tick by wading your way through terrible online FAQs written by 13-year-old amateur comedians, you’ll instead be able to take comfort in the fact that a bunch of other folk are also playing through the same game as you, and you’ll be able to talk to them about it.

Stuck in a particular area? Struggling to get to grips with the game’s mechanics? Found a particularly cool trick and want to share it? Have you drawn your own map to help you get through a dungeon, and you want to proudly offer it to others to help them? This is for you.

Each month yer man Scullion will pick a retro game for everyone to play together. These will almost always be games that are easy to get hold of and affordable: I’m not going to ask you to buy an Atari Jaguar and drop £80 on Alien vs Predator or anything like that. Ideally, nothing in the Game Club will cost more than £10.

Anyone wishing to take part in the Game Club will be able to join the discussion on the Tired Old Hack Discord server. If you haven’t already joined or are new to Discord, it’s essentially just a chat room with various channels: the Tired Old Hack one has channels dedicated to the site itself, Nintendo games, Xbox games, PlayStation games, retro gaming, off-topic and the likes.

As of right this bloody moment, the Tired Old Hack Discord server now has a shiny new channel called #game-club – this is where all your Game Club discussions can take place.

If you’re interested, then, follow this link to sign up to the Tired Old Hack Discord server, and join in the conversation.

Throughout the month I’ll be jumping in to share little tidbits about the game, and post old magazine articles, be that reviews (so you can see what people thought of it at the time) or tips sections (so you can get help like we did back in the day).

The future of Game Club relies on your participation, really. If only a couple of people do it and there’s no real enthusiasm for it, then I’ll scrap it and chalk it up to experience. If, on the other hand, it results in a lovely wee community of like-minded gamers discovering classic games for the first time together, then it’ll continue for as long as possible.

That said, sign up to the Discord if you’re interested and let’s get cracking! This month’s game is:

Earthbound

SNES, 1994
Nintendo / HAL Laboratory, Ape Inc.

By the early ’90s, the vast majority of gamers associated RPGs with fantasy settings.

They were almost always about knights, mages, princesses, dungeons, dragons and all the stuff people still moan about these days any time HBO decides to make TV shows based on them.

Earthbound – written by Shigesato Itoi and programmed by the late Satoru Iwata – messed with this tradition by placing an RPG story in a modern day setting, and replacing the wizards and assassins with 9-year-old children.

Earthbound was only released in Japan (as Mother 2) and North America during the SNES era: European gamers didn’t get it until nearly two decades later, when it launched on the Wii U Virtual Console in 2013.

How to get it

There are a few ways to get Earthbound if you fancy taking part in this month’s Game Club.

• It’s one of the 30 games on the SNES Classic mini console.

• You can get it on the Wii U eShop for £6.99 / $9.99.

• You can get it on the New 3DS eShop for £8.99 / $9.99 (only if you have a New 3DS model).

• Finally, if you’re dodgy, you can obviously also run it on an SNES emulator.

Starting out

Earthbound is a fairly typical example of a mid ’90s RPG, so if you aren’t familiar with that genre it may take you a little while to get used to its start-stop flow.

In fact, if that’s the case you’re going to have a more authentic experience: when Earthbound launched in the US, many gamers of that era were in the same boat because the RPG genre was still struggling to find the massive fanbase it had in Japan.

To make up for this and make sure players were able to get to grips with it, Nintendo actually included a huge 130-page strategy guide with the game, which players could consult any time they needed a hint.

Naturally, I’m the generous type, so here’s that entire guide in PDF form:

Earthbound Strategy Guide

Try not to rely on it too much, mind: that guide was designed for complete newcomers to the RPG genre and so it holds their hand through almost the entire game. By all means read the first few pages to get an idea of what’s going on, but reading any more will essentially be the equivalent of playing with a walkthrough. Instead, get involved with your fellow gamers: that’s what Game Club is for, after all.

What I do recommend, though, is the ‘Earthbound at a Glance’ section at the back of the book: this is a really useful guide that explains what every item in the game does.

You should now have enough to get started on your adventure. When you’re ready, hop into the Discord server to begin chatting about it with your new Game Club pals: how are you finding the game so far? Have you discovered any strategies to help you in the early stages? Are you stuck and not sure where to go next?

See you in the chat!

NOTE: One final request. If you’ve already beaten Earthbound and fancy yourself as a bit of an expert, by all means take part in the discussions but please don’t try to become some sort of oracle of knowledge. The point of Game Club is for people who haven’t beaten the game before to experience it together: having someone give them all the answers all the time ruins the fun a bit. Besides, nobody likes a smart-arse.

Kartography #4 – Sonic R

Published on by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Kartography is my regular series in which I look at licensed kart racers throughout gaming history, and figure out where they fit on my all-time karting game leaderboard.

For more information on my scoring policy for Kartography, check out this introductory article.

Sega / Traveller’s Tales
Sega Saturn, PC (Saturn version reviewed)

Not all karting games feature karts, you know.

While it’s clear that the majority do, it’s perfectly acceptable for a developer to ditch them in favour of something else.

What makes a game part of the karting genre isn’t the fact you’re using karts: it’s the idea of multiple characters – each with distinct personalities – racing against each other, often with items to collect.

After all, when you choose a bikes-only race in Mario Kart Wii, does it suddenly stop being a karting game? Does it balls.

Sonic R on the Sega Saturn was an early advocate of this idea: not only did it ditch the idea of using karts, many of its characters don’t even have vehicles at all, instead choosing to run across the course.

Does it work? Read on and find out. Continue reading “Kartography #4 – Sonic R” →

Wee-views: Yoshi’s Crafted World, Dead Or Alive 6, Sega Heroes, Forza Street, Mechstermination Force and Picross special

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments

It’s time for another helping of wee-views! These are ‘wee reviews’ of games that I haven’t gotten round to completing, but have played enough of to at least form a fairly solid opinion.

As ever, please do bear in mind that this means the games covered below could get better or worse near the end. For more detailed explanation of the thought process behind wee-views, check out the original wee-view page. Continue reading “Wee-views: Yoshi’s Crafted World, Dead Or Alive 6, Sega Heroes, Forza Street, Mechstermination Force and Picross special” →

The UK Official Nintendo Magazine (ONM) E3 2006 DVD

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

I joined the Official Nintendo Magazine as staff writer (and started my career in games journalism) on 2 May 2006, the week before E3.

Five days before that, on 27 April, Nintendo had announced that its new console, the Revolution, was actually going to be called the Wii. And then, on 10 April, Nintendo held its conference where it showed off the final console and its games for the first time.

Now, given that I was only a week in the game, I obviously wasn’t sent to Los Angeles to cover the event: instead, I stayed at ONM Towers in London, writing all the previews for the special E3 issue of the mag: issue 5, my first full one as a staff writer.

Meanwhile, editor Lee Nutter and deputy editor Chandra Nair did indeed travel to LA to cover the event, and Chandra – as he always did when he was editor of Cube magazine – brought his ruddy big video camera with him.

He used that camera to film as much stuff as he could on the E3 show floor, with the purpose of putting it all on a free DVD to be included alongside issue 5.

This turned out to be a genius move. It’s hard to believe now in this ear of 4K, 60fps streaming video, but bear in mind that in 2006 many of the online E3 videos being published on various big sites looked more like this:

Because of this, the fact we at ONM had actual DVD quality footage (albeit slightly compressed to fit onto a single-layer disc) meant our readers had probably the best quality video from E3 2006.

This also means that, to the best of my knowledge, this is the best quality footage you’ll see of cancelled games like Project H.A.M.M.E.R., Wii Sports Airplane (which became part of Wii Sports Resort) and Rayman 4 (which became Rayman Raving Rabbids a mere five months later… which is suspicious).

Now, Future Publishing – who owns the copyright to everything ever created during the ONM days – is fairly strict when it comes to people republishing their content.

That’s why I’m extremely grateful to Future’s legal department for granting me a licence to re-publish this DVD in its entirety on this site.

We all know how the internet works, though, and it’s clear that if I’d just put up the entire DVD untouched someone would have it ripped and plonked on their own YouTube channel by the end of the afternoon.

To get round this, I’ve recorded a commentary for the DVD. I’m sorry this means you won’t be able to watch it without hearing my dulcet tones over it, but it should at least give you some context to the 13-year-old footage you’re watching, along with some anecdotes from the ONM days.

So, pour yourself an Irn Bru, get this loaded up on your TV’s YouTube app (it’s a long video, so you’ll need to get comfy: it’s easier to find it if you subscribe to my channel) and get stuck into the entire 97-minute E3 2006 DVD from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 5.

If you want to help me write more articles and publish more videos like this, please consider donating to my Patreon account.

Don’t want to commit to a regular payment? I’ve now got a PayPal ‘tips’ jar: if you like my work in general feel free to chuck yer man Scullion a couple of quid and help stock up my Irn Bru fund so I can continue working away like a bastard.

Donate with PayPal

Alternatively, if you can’t afford to support me on Patreon, please do your normal Amazon UK shopping via this link or Amazon US shopping via this link. Tired Old Hack is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.co.uk and affiliated sites.