Tag: DS

My 100 best (and worst) ONM headline jokes

Published on by Chris Scullion5 Comments
ONM issue 5, the first I appeared in
ONM issue 5, the first I appeared in

My six years at the Official Nintendo Magazine were (at the time of writing at least) the best six years of my career.

There were plenty of reasons for this: it was my first major job, it was the job I’d always wanted to do, and there was a massive reader base who regularly communicated with me (many of them still do to this day).

One of the main reasons, though, was that I always had the freedom to tell bad jokes.

I’ve told bad jokes all my life, but usually people at school and uni would groan and walk away. ONM was my chance to tell bad jokes to tens of thousands of people who were less tempted to bail because they’d already paid £3.99 for the privilege. Mwa haaaa.

Recently I was going through my ONM archives and I started chuckling at some of my worst jokes, many of which I’d forgotten over the years. It got me in a nostalgic mood, so I’ve decided to share said nostalgia with you.

I’m going to run a series of articles based on my time at ONM, sharing my favourite ‘funny’ moments. In the future these will include my best screenshot captions and my best review quotes.

Today though, I’m sharing 100 of my headline jokes – be it the headlines themselves or (most often) the snarky one-liners under the game name in previews and reviews. Continue reading “My 100 best (and worst) ONM headline jokes” →

10 years as a games journalist – my most memorable moments

Published on by Chris Scullion11 Comments

On 2 May 2006, I joined Official Nintendo Magazine as a Staff Writer.

After a quick glance at my calendar, I have determined that today is therefore my 10th anniversary as a video games journalist (or critic, or writer or whatever you want to call it: I still don’t really know myself).

My first ever ONM review: a shit DS racing game. The glory days
My first ever ONM review. They got better, honest

Over the past decade I’ve loved every minute of working for ONM, then Nintendo Gamer, then CVG and finally as a freelancer.

And now I’ve got Tired Old Hack, which gives me more freedom to write what I want than I’ve ever had. In short, it’s been a bloody good 10 years.

With that in mind, although games are usually the main focus when I write, I hope you don’t mind if I make today’s article about my own career.

Here are 20 of my favourite memories as a games journalist over the past decade. These are not all of them, not by a long shot: they’re just the ones that stand out at this very moment. Continue reading “10 years as a games journalist – my most memorable moments” →

The 30 best DS games

Published on by Chris Scullion34 Comments

This is the first in a series of shameful SEO-milking articles that should hopefully still at least be helpful to you.

These articles are also important to me in a personal sense because they mark the first time I’ve ever been able to write my own definitive ‘top games’ lists, rather than contributing to collaborative lists on ONM, CVG and the like.

The eventual result will be a number of platform-specific articles that, when combined, will list my personal favourite games ever, something I’ve never been able to share in such detail.

Because of this, there will be blatant omissions and odd decisions. But I’m not going to add a game I’ve never played just because it’s widely considered a classic. These are my lists, paying homage to the games that I personally had a great time with.

The Nintendo DS turned 10 years old in the UK yesterday. On 11 March 2005 Nintendo’s chunky flip-case handheld arrived in Britain to a relatively muted response.

Many gamers, feeling Nintendo was losing steam with GameCube sales slowing to a crawl, were more focused on Sony’s upcoming handheld, the PSP.

The best handheld ever? That's a debate for another time
The best handheld ever? That’s a debate for another time

Offering significantly better graphics and games that could pass as slightly low-res PS2 titles, the PSP was far more appealing to gamers than the DS’s N64-era visuals and its touch screen, which appeared to be no more than a gimmick.

And yet, a decade later, nobody can deny the DS’s eventual impact on the gaming world. With over 154 million units sold worldwide, it’s the best-selling handheld of all time and was around a million shy of overtaking the PS2 as the best-selling video game system ever.

The first game I ever reviewed professionally as an employee of Future Publishing was a DS game. Granted, it was the abysmal Dragon Booster, but the DS will always hold a place in my heart for that reason regardless.

So, since it celebrated its 10th birthday in the UK yesterday, and since it was where my career began, it’s only fitting that my first ‘best games’ article should celebrate the best Nintendo DS games I’ve ever played.

In the six years I spent at Official Nintendo Magazine I reviewed hundreds of DS games, arguably more than any multi-format journalist (since their publications wouldn’t have touched half the shite we covered). So trust me when I say these 30 must have done something special to get in here. Continue reading “The 30 best DS games” →