Retro gaming – Page 2 – Tired Old Hack

ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove! (Switch) review

Published on February 28, 2019June 27, 2019 by Chris Scullion1 Comment

HumaNature Studios
Switch, Xbox One, PS4, Steam (Switch version reviewed)

I’m not exaggerating when I say the original ToeJam & Earl is one of my favourite games ever (check my Mega Drive Classics video for proof).

Its funky music is among the greatest ever contributed to the medium. Its bizarre sense of humour remains hilarious to this day. And any game that calls you a ‘poindexter’ for levelling up is a classic in my book.

Over the years, this ToeJam & Earl fan has seen his beloved series go through an altogether different kind of funk. The sequel, Panic on Funkotron, was a strange 2D platformer that had an eccentric art style but came nowhere close to the original’s brilliant top-down free-roaming exploration.

A decade later, the third game – ToeJam & Earl III: Mission to Earth – launched as an Xbox exclusive, and I actually blew my entire student loan on an Xbox and a copy of the game, living like a pauper for months so I could play what was an admittedly average threequel.

That Xbox game launched in 2002, but since then… nothing. In the nearly two decades since, I’ve played the original countless times – constantly reliving the days an 8-year-old me first discovered and fell in love with it – while endlessly praying for a comeback.

I’m now 35, and that comeback is finally here. And it’s good. Continue reading “ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove! (Switch) review” →

That time when Sonic played football in Virtua Striker

Published on January 11, 2019January 16, 2019 by Chris Scullion6 Comments

This article is available in both written and video format. The voiceover in the video version is me reading out the article below, so if you watch the video you won’t have to then read the article. If you enjoy the video and want to see more, there’s bonus unedited footage of the game (without my voiceover) at the bottom of this page.

VIDEO VERSION:

Welcome to That Time When, a new series dedicated to weird and wonderful moments in the history of gaming. In episode one, let’s go back to that time when Sonic played football in Virtua Striker 3.

These days when you think of football games, there are only two series that stand out: FIFA and Pro Evolution Soccer.

Back in the day though, there were a load of different football series all vying for gamers’ attention. And their money, obviously. Continue reading “That time when Sonic played football in Virtua Striker” →

Bandersnatch: the game that killed a company and inspired a Black Mirror episode

Published on January 2, 2019January 9, 2019 by Chris Scullion23 Comments

If you’re the sort of hip cat who’s ‘up’ on all things streaming video, you’ll probably be aware of Bandersnatch, the choose-your-own adventure style spin-off of Charlie Brooker’s fantastic Black Mirror series.

Bandersnatch tells the story of Stefan Butler, a young programmer who’s developing a game for the ZX Spectrum based on a fantasy novel (the author of which is portrayed in a cameo appearance by Jeff Minter, the creator of games like Tempest 2000 and Attack Of The Mutant Camels).

What you may not realise, though, is that Bandersnatch is loosely – very loosely – based on an actual ZX Spectrum game that ultimately never saw the light of day. Here, then, is the story of the original Bandersnatch: what it was, what happened to it, and what it eventually became. Continue reading “Bandersnatch: the game that killed a company and inspired a Black Mirror episode” →

Kartography #2 – Garfield Kart

Published on August 18, 2018 by Chris Scullion7 Comments

Kartography is my regular series in which I look at licensed kart racers throughout gaming history, and figure out where they fit on my all-time kart game leaderboard.

For more information on my scoring policy for Kartography, check out this introductory article.

Microids / Artefacts Studios
PC, 3DS, iOS, Android (PC version covered)

After kicking off Kartography last week with the mediocre Hello Kitty Kruisers (which scored 13/40), it’s time for game two to drive up to the… um, judging chamber. Or something.

Shortly after I posted the first Kartography I was informed that Garfield Kart was available for a dirt cheap price on Steam (it isn’t any more, but it’s still only £3.99).

Since it seems to have some sort of internet buzz around it at the moment as the alleged “worst game ever” (presumably by meme kids who’ve never experienced the joys of Wheelspin, Ninjabread Man, Rise Of The Robots or Superman 64), I decided to cover it next.

Although it was also released on mobile and 3DS (where it reportedly looks horrendous), today I’m looking at the version on Steam, where it currently has a suspicious 9/10 rating. You pesky meme kids.

TO THE JUDGING CHAMBER WITH THEE, GARFIELD KART. Continue reading “Kartography #2 – Garfield Kart” →

The complete history of Street Fighter

Published on May 26, 2018 by Chris Scullion17 Comments

The Street Fighter series is currently in its 30th year, and what a three decades it’s been.

Capcom’s one-on-one (and sometimes 2-on-2 and 3-on-3) fighting series has consistently entertained die-hards and occasional dabblers alike, from its ‘10p a go’ arcade days (yes, I’m old enough to remember when arcade games cost that) to its bombastic modern-day console offerings.

What’s impressive about it is that, its dated first game aside – hey, we’ve all got to start somewhere – more or less every main entry in the Street Fighter series refuses to age, and continues to be immensely playable while other, often younger, games start to feel practically prehistoric.

The main series is just the tip of the Street Fighter iceberg, though – the antenna on the smashable car, if you’d rather – because since that first game in 1987 there have been nearly 150 different Street Fighter games, spin-offs, movies, TV shows and cameo crossovers with other games.

How do I know? Because I’m the mad bastard who’s tried to list every single one of them below.

In preparation for the release of the Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection next week, then, enjoy the largest article I’ve ever written as we travel through the entire history of Street Fighter in true Tired Old Hack style: 27,000 words, one page, no ads or slideshows for your reading convenience. Continue reading “The complete history of Street Fighter” →

VHS Preservation Project #9: Sega Saturn Magazine promo video

Published on April 21, 2018February 6, 2025 by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

The Video Game VHS Preservation Project is an attempt to digitise as many video game VHS tapes as possible for the purposes of preservation. Click here for more information.

The ninth tape in my VHS Preservation Project is the first to celebrate the Sega Saturn.

It was given away with issue one of Sega Saturn Magazine, an official British publication that launched four months after the Saturn’s UK release (although technically it was just an evolution of the already existing Sega Magazine).

The tape is a 30-minute beast consisting of a short Saturn advert, followed by nothing but gameplay footage. Of particular note is the very early Virtua Fighter 2 footage, which is only around 35% complete at this point.

Continue reading “VHS Preservation Project #9: Sega Saturn Magazine promo video” →

The WWF Superstars Game Boy Roast Battle

Published on April 10, 2018April 11, 2018 by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

If you aren’t up on all things professional wrestling, this weekend saw WrestleMania 34 take place in New Orleans. It was decent.

That was only the warm-up match, however, to what is undoubtedly the main event: the Tired Old Hack WWF Superstars Game Boy Roast Battle. Continue reading “The WWF Superstars Game Boy Roast Battle” →

The Tired Old Hack Winter Games Challenge

Published on February 10, 2018April 10, 2018 by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Chances are you’ve probably noticed that the 2018 Winter Olympic Games have just kicked off in Pyeongchang, South Korea.

To celebrate this, I’ve decided to take a look back at the history of Winter Olympics video games: the good, and the very much not so good.

In the Tired Old Hack Winter Games Challenge I’ll be uploading daily videos over the course of the 2018 Games, as I proceed through the history of the winter games genre. Continue reading “The Tired Old Hack Winter Games Challenge” →

VHS Preservation Project #7: Mean Machines Sega Mega CD promo video

Published on November 24, 2017February 6, 2025 by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

The Video Game VHS Preservation Project is an attempt to digitise as many video game VHS tapes as possible for the purposes of preservation. Click here for more information.

Tape number seven in my VHS Preservation Project is one I actually uploaded to my YouTube channel a number of years ago, but the upload was much poorer quality.

This is a video that was given away free with issue 3 (December 1992) of Mean Machines Sega, a popular UK games magazine that was spawned when Mean Machines split into separate Sega and Nintendo publications.

This video contains Sega’s entire eight-minute promo video Sega Mega CD: Games Without Frontiers, followed by a strange football competition and then footage of a handful of PAL region games, including Streets Of Rage 2 and Ecco The Dolphin.

Continue reading “VHS Preservation Project #7: Mean Machines Sega Mega CD promo video” →

HumaNature Studios Switch, Xbox One, PS4, Steam (Switch version reviewed)

VIDEO VERSION:

Microids / Artefacts Studios PC, 3DS, iOS, Android (PC version covered)

HumaNature Studios
Switch, Xbox One, PS4, Steam (Switch version reviewed)

Microids / Artefacts Studios
PC, 3DS, iOS, Android (PC version covered)