Author: Chris Scullion

Chris Scullion is a Scottish video games journalist who's been covering video games professionally for 16 years. For the first six years of his career he worked at the Official Nintendo Magazine in the UK, then became the Games Editor of CVG before its untimely end. After setting up his own site, Tired Old Hack, Chris then joined Video Games Chronicle (VGC) where he is currently Features Editor. He has a passion for retro games and cataloguing their history, hence his ongoing series of console encyclopedia books (search his name on Amazon).

Steamed Hams, but it’s a Choose Your Own Adventure story

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

I’ve always wanted to try my hand at Twine.

For those not familiar with it, Twine is open-source software designed for writing your own interactive story-based games.

You can write individual pages in basic HTML markdown, illustrate them with images, then upload them online and let other people play them.

Essentially, at its core it’s basic game creation software, as long as the game in question is a multiple-choice branching story.

It’s something I’ve been meaning to try for a while now, but I’ve never had the right inspiration.

Then I realised: why not make a Twine version of one of the greatest stories ever told in history?

I am, of course, referring to Steamed Hams, an epic tale of one man, his boss, his lunch and his mother.

My game/story is hosted on philome.la, a site that offers free hosting of Twine stories.

Click this link to be taken to my story, where you can play it.

Can you get Skinner through dinner and keep Superintendent Chalmers happy? Play and find out!

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (Switch) gameplay footage

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Most of the gamers who bought Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze on Wii U will tell you it’s one of the best platformers of its generation.

Sadly, since there were fewer Wii Us sold than there were good Kid Rock songs, the vast majority of the gaming public have yet to experience its joys.

That changes next month when Tropical Freeze is ported to the far more popular Switch, and all those who decided to give the Wii U a wide berth will finally get their chance to see what Donkey Kong and chums have to offer.

Yer man Scullion’s been playing the Switch version for review: it’s still under embargo, though, so don’t expect one for a few weeks yet.

What I can do, though, is share up to 15 minutes of gameplay footage with you, so get stuck in.

The below video includes three separate clips: one showing Donkey Kong and Cranky Kong in action (as an introduction for those not familiar with the game), one showing off how great the game looks, and finally a clip demonstrating the brand new Funky Mode, where you get to play as the greatest character in video game history.

Check it out, and keep an eye out for the full review in early May.

The WWF Superstars Game Boy Roast Battle

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If you aren’t up on all things professional wrestling, this weekend saw WrestleMania 34 take place in New Orleans. It was decent.

That was only the warm-up match, however, to what is undoubtedly the main event: the Tired Old Hack WWF Superstars Game Boy Roast Battle. Continue reading “The WWF Superstars Game Boy Roast Battle” →

It’s (Tired Old) Back!

Published on by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Last October I posted an article called ‘Tired Old Hack: a word on the coming months’.

It explained that I was about to start work on a new project that would “take up a massive chunk of my free time” and that as a result the number of articles on the site was going to take a hefty knock.

Six months later, that project – a 190,000-word book – is now complete. Expect more information on that in a while: there’s still some work to be done by the publisher before we’re ready to share the news and I can start trying to convince you lovely swines to pre-order it.

That’s news for the future, then. The news today is that – now the book’s finished – Tired Old Hack is back up to full speed again, meaning you can expect far more regular and varied articles instead of just the occasional reviews and podcast episodes I was posting during the site’s downtime. Continue reading “It’s (Tired Old) Back!” →

Kirby Star Allies (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment
Nintendo / HAL Laboratory
Nintendo Switch

The Switch is a little over a year old now and the continued roll-out of established Nintendo (and Nintendo-related) franchises is ticking away nicely.

Zelda? Check. Mario Kart? Check. Splatoon, Mario Odyssey, Fire Emblem Warriors, Xenoblade Chronicles, Pokken Tournament? Check times five.

There’s more to come: Hyrule Warriors is out in two months, and we’ve obviously got a Donkey Kong Country game, a Fire Emblem, a Smash Bros, a Yoshi game, Metroid Prime 4 and a new Pokemon in the distant future. Slowly but surely, fans of every series are getting games aimed at keeping them happy.

This week marks the next step in the process, with Kirby getting to take centre stage on the Switch for the first time. Continue reading “Kirby Star Allies (Switch) review” →

Totaku figures #01-06: World exclusive review

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Anyone who knows me knows I’m an absolute fiend when it comes to collectible figurines.

Yer man Scullion currently owns a complete set of 70 Lego Dimensions characters, a complete set of 105 Disney Infinity figures, 116 amiibo – incomplete, because nobody needs two Kirbys – and precisely zero Skylanders (because obviously).

Later in March the first wave of Totaku figures hits the UK and US. They’re going to be sold exclusively at Gamestop in the US, and in a handful of stores in the UK (most notably GAME).

Given my obsession with collecting similar figures, you’d hopefully agree that I’d be the man to trust when it comes to reviewing these Totaku thingies.

It’s fortunate, then, that I’m lucky enough to currently have final samples of the first six figures, and I’ve managed to secure them before anyone else.

Friends, here is your world exclusive first review of Totaku figures #01 to #06. Continue reading “Totaku figures #01-06: World exclusive review” →

Bayonetta 1 & 2 (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments
Nintendo / Platinum Games
Switch, Wii U (Switch version reviewed)

If you ask me, this is definitely the best social climate to release a pair of games about a sexy witch who has an outfit made out of hair that makes her naked any time she attacks with it.

Don’t worry: I can already imagine some of you getting nervous. That’s a discussion for another website, and given it’s an important topic (and rightly so, in my opinion) I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding said discussion elsewhere before too long.

It would be daft, though, not to address the skimpily-dressed elephant in the room: Bayonetta 1 & 2 are very much games that would result in plenty of uncomfortable conversations if they were brand new releases and not ports of games that are nine and four years old respectively.

Much like my review of the significantly more questionable Senran Kagura: Estival Versus on PS4, though (don’t click that if you’re at work), I’m going to spare you the morality lesson here. It’s up to you to investigate the content and tone of these games and decide if they’re suitable for you or any younger gamers in your life: my job is to tell you if they’re actually fun to play.

In that respect I can confirm that yes, yes they are. Continue reading “Bayonetta 1 & 2 (Switch) review” →

The Tired Old Hack Winter Games Challenge

Published on by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Chances are you’ve probably noticed that the 2018 Winter Olympic Games have just kicked off in Pyeongchang, South Korea.

To celebrate this, I’ve decided to take a look back at the history of Winter Olympics video games: the good, and the very much not so good.

In the Tired Old Hack Winter Games Challenge I’ll be uploading daily videos over the course of the 2018 Games, as I proceed through the history of the winter games genre. Continue reading “The Tired Old Hack Winter Games Challenge” →