Category: List features

A load of potential plots for the upcoming Super Mario CGI movie

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments

It’s been nearly an entire year since Nintendo announced during a financial briefing that Illumination – the studio behind the Despicable Me films – is working on a Super Mario movie with Shigeru Miyamoto.

Since then, there’s been absolutely nothing. No casting news, no release date, not even a plot. Well, yer man Scullion can at least help with the last of those.

Here’s a hefty helping of potential plots for the Super Mario movie. And yes, all of them are deadly serious and must happen.

Warning: this article isn’t suitable for kids. Like I say, some of these plots are deadly serious. Continue reading “A load of potential plots for the upcoming Super Mario CGI movie” →

The 10 Best Games of 2018

Published on by Chris Scullion3 Comments

This article is available in both written and video format. The video shows the games in action while I read the article as a voiceover, so if you watch the video you don’t need to read the written article that follows since it’s the same ‘script’.

Well, 2018 has finally come to an end and I’ve got to be honest with you: yer man Scullion is absolutely knackered.

This has easily been the busiest year I can remember. Not only have I been juggling my 9-to-5 job at the same time as running Tired Old Hack, I also finished my NES Encyclopedia book and, of course, have the small matter of my gorgeous baby daughter to take care of too.

That said, I did still find time to get my fair share of gaming this year, and since it’s basically illegal not to have an end-of-year list, here’s my ten favourite games of the year. Continue reading “The 10 Best Games of 2018” →

Ten great gaming ideas that failed

Published on by Chris Scullion7 Comments

Over the years, the world of gaming has seen an endless supply of failures.

The vast majority of these failed because they were fundamentally flawed. They may have been created with the best of intentions but the likes of the Virtual Boy, Kinect and the Atari Jaguar died on their arse because they simply weren’t very good.

On rare occasions, however, something will fail even if it works well and the concept is solid. For whatever reason – bad marketing, a lack of developer support, even just being ahead of its time – some genuinely good ideas have found themselves unceremoniously dumped in the reject pile.

I know what you’re thinking: I SMELL A LIST FEATURE.

Sure enough, dear reader, here is a list of ideas I genuinely liked but which ultimately didn’t find the success they may have deserved, and were eventually consigned to history’s Big Book Of Broken Dreams. Continue reading “Ten great gaming ideas that failed” →

The complete history of FIFA World Cup video games

Published on by Chris Scullion5 Comments

It’s World Cup time, that lovely quadrennial football occasion where English football fans start thinking they’re going to become world champions again while Scots like me moan about the BBC cutting to the England camp at half time during every single match, regardless of who’s playing. Not that I’m bitter.

But hey! Never mind that. There are people out there who love football, and people who love video games. And what do you get when someone ticks both boxes? People who love football video games, of course. Look, this isn’t hard.

What you may not realise is there have been official World Cup football games since way back in 1986, each trying to help gamers get into the World Cup spirit by capturing the atmosphere of the real-life tournament going on at the same time.

I’m a massive fan of ‘event’ football games like this, so I’ve decided to put together this extensive feature listing each of these World Cup games and how they fit into the gaming landscape at the time. Enjoy! Continue reading “The complete history of FIFA World Cup video games” →

The complete history of Street Fighter

Published on by Chris Scullion17 Comments

The Street Fighter series is currently in its 30th year, and what a three decades it’s been.

Capcom’s one-on-one (and sometimes 2-on-2 and 3-on-3) fighting series has consistently entertained die-hards and occasional dabblers alike, from its ‘10p a go’ arcade days (yes, I’m old enough to remember when arcade games cost that) to its bombastic modern-day console offerings.

What’s impressive about it is that, its dated first game aside – hey, we’ve all got to start somewhere – more or less every main entry in the Street Fighter series refuses to age, and continues to be immensely playable while other, often younger, games start to feel practically prehistoric.

The main series is just the tip of the Street Fighter iceberg, though – the antenna on the smashable car, if you’d rather – because since that first game in 1987 there have been nearly 150 different Street Fighter games, spin-offs, movies, TV shows and cameo crossovers with other games.

How do I know? Because I’m the mad bastard who’s tried to list every single one of them below.

In preparation for the release of the Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection next week, then, enjoy the largest article I’ve ever written as we travel through the entire history of Street Fighter in true Tired Old Hack style: 27,000 words, one page, no ads or slideshows for your reading convenience. Continue reading “The complete history of Street Fighter” →

The Tired Old Hack Alternative Game Of The Year Awards 2017

Published on by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Well, 2017 is finally coming to an end, and you know what that means: it’s time for every video game site to give its end-of-year awards.

I mean, it would be if most of them hadn’t already posted their awards in early December so they could all enjoy well-deserved Christmas breaks.

Not yer man Scullion. I’ve waited until the very last minute to give you my picks for the year, because I’m fashionably late like that.

Let’s face it, by now you’ve probably seen a million articles with awards for ‘Best Racing Game’, ‘Best PlayStation Game’ and the like being given out. Me adding my own to the mix would be about as effective as flicking a box of matches into an active volcano.

So here, then, are the Tired Old Hack Alternative Game Of The Year Awards 2017, many of which are slightly less conventional than you may be used to. Enjoy. Continue reading “The Tired Old Hack Alternative Game Of The Year Awards 2017” →

The complete history of Nintendo arcade games

Published on by Chris Scullion19 Comments

A couple of days ago Nintendo streamed its latest Nintendo Direct presentation.

For many the most notable announcement was that Doom and Wolfenstein II are coming to the Switch, while the five minutes of new Super Mario Odyssey footage was a great way to wrap things up and get people talking after the Direct had ended.

For massively nerdy Nintendo historians (like me), though, the biggest news of the Direct was that Hamster Corporation – the studio currently responsible for the regular Neo-Geo games appearing on Switch and other consoles – will be bringing some of Nintendo’s old arcade games to the Switch as part of its Arcade Archives series. Continue reading “The complete history of Nintendo arcade games” →

E3 2017 – The 45 trailers you may have missed

Published on by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

E3 week is slowly coming to an end, and while it may not have been the most dramatic in terms of big reveals it certainly clarified one thing: over the next 18 months we’ll be getting more great games than you can shake a Joy-Con at.

Of course, the main events during E3 week are the numerous press conferences, many of which I covered with podcast recaps. Most people are happy enough in the knowledge that if they watch every conference they’ll see the best of what E3 has to offer.

What you may not have realised, though, is that there are a wealth of other games at E3 that aren’t part of the conferences: either because they’re made by third-party publishers who aren’t showing presentations, or because they’re first-party games that for whatever reason have taken a back seat (sorry, Gran Turismo Sport). Continue reading “E3 2017 – The 45 trailers you may have missed” →

10 characters who should be in ARMS

Published on by Chris Scullion4 Comments

Nintendo’s latest original game is ARMS, which is coming to the Switch on 16 June.

In case you don’t already know, it’s a fighting game in which all the characters have extendable arms, meaning they can attack from a distance. I played it way back in January: here were my obscenely early hands-on impressions.

Nintendo has promised that, as was the case with Splatoon, ARMS will be supported after launch with a bunch of free downloadable content updates.

This will include new stages, new types of arm and – most interestingly – new playable fighters.

Now, if you ask me, this opens the door to a bunch of new possibilities. Friends, I’m thinking crossovers. Continue reading “10 characters who should be in ARMS” →

The 30 best Nintendo 64 games

Published on by Chris Scullion11 Comments

This is the ninth in my ’30 Best’ series of articles in which I discuss my favourite games ever on a system-by-system basis for the first time in my career. In case you missed them, the full list of other ’30 Best’ articles can be found at the bottom of this page.

’30 Best’ will now be a regular series, thanks to my lovely Patreon followers helping me reach a stretch goal. If you want to contribute, please visit my Patreon page.

Few retro games consoles are as fondly remembered as the Nintendo 64.

The history books list it as the system that was thoroughly trounced by the PlayStation, but with over 32 million sold – more than the Sega Mega Drive – its influence was still notable.

Nowhere was this influence clearer than in some of the games exclusive to the system. The N64 marked Nintendo’s first proper foray into polygonal gaming (I know, the Super FX chip, but whatever), and with it came a bunch of new concepts that would go on to shape the games we play today. Continue reading “The 30 best Nintendo 64 games” →