A message to Bonus Stage (formerly Brash Games) – Fuck you

Published on by Chris Scullion19 Comments

UPDATE: Since this article was written, Paul Ryan has completely renamed his Brash Games site and is now masquerading as Bonus Stage instead. His hope is clearly that with this rebranding he can paint over the shit stains his previous site was covered in.

Let it be known that every reference to Brash Games below can also be attributed to Bonus Stage since it’s a shithawk in a normal hawk’s clothing.

Right.

There’s an unwritten rule in games journalism that you’re supposed to treat your fellow professionals with respect.

If you have any issues with another games journalist’s article it’s not really good practice to air those issues on Twitter (even though a lot of us do), and it’s certainly considered unprofessional to write up an article that outright calls them out.

That’s why you don’t get Kotaku publishing an article simply called “suck our holes, Polygon”. Some of them may think it, but it just isn’t professional to insult fellow games journalists.

Well, guess what. I’m not a professional anymore: I do Tired Old Hack in my free time. And so we’re fucking doing this. Continue reading “A message to Bonus Stage (formerly Brash Games) – Fuck you” →

The complete history of Mario Kart

Published on by Chris Scullion13 Comments

The arrival of a new Mario Kart is always a big event in the gaming community.

For nearly 25 years Nintendo’s racing series has been considered one of the best local multiplayer experiences gaming can offer, and new titles regularly sell in the tens of millions.

Today is a little different, because it marks the first Mario Kart release which is an enhanced version of a previous game rather than a brand new entry.

The reason for this is clear: Mario Kart 8 Deluxe gives Switch owners a taste of console-quality Mario Kart in handheld form less than two months into the system’s life, while also giving those who skipped the Wii U a chance to finally play it.

This is only the latest chapter in the saga, of course. This series has been going for even longer than Arsene Wenger’s been at Arsenal, so what better time to look back at the history of Mario Kart?

Well, I mean, the 25th anniversary in August would be a better time. But fuck it, we’re doing it now. Continue reading “The complete history of Mario Kart” →

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion8 Comments
Nintendo / Nintendo EAD
Switch

For most games, selling 8 million copies would be considered a huge success. Much whooping and hollering would take place, and both publisher and developer would metaphorically and physically kiss each other on the lips at a job well done.

Mario Kart isn’t most games though. For it, 8 million is quite an underachievement. Considering the DS, Wii and 3DS entries sold 23, 36 and 14 million copies respectively, a ‘mere’ 8 million has to go down, bizarrely, as a disappointment.

This was the fate that befell the appropriately named Mario Kart 8, which failed to hit octuple figures through no fault of its own. Indeed, most people who played it considered it the greatest Mario Kart game ever made.

The reason for its relative sales funk, of course, was that it was released on the Wii U, a console that – as genuinely great as it was – ended up being about as popular as an Al Jolson cosplayer at the MOBO awards.

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, then, finds itself in an interesting position. It’s essentially an enhanced version of a game that, despite already selling 8 million copies, is set to be experienced by a whole host of new players for the first time. Continue reading “Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (Switch) review” →

Voodoo Vince Remastered (Xbox One) review

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment
Microsoft / Beep Games
Xbox One, PC (Xbox One version reviewed)

A fortnight ago I posted a review of Yooka-Laylee, saying that long-time gamers who fondly remembered Rare’s glory days would enjoy it.

If you fall under that category and you’re looking for more old-school runny-jumpy goodness, Voodoo Vince Remastered is another recent release that should appeal to fans of turn-of-the-millennium platformers.

Mainly because it literally is one. Continue reading “Voodoo Vince Remastered (Xbox One) review” →

Gemhunter #7 – Curse: The Eye Of Isis

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

It’s back! After a six-month break (while I upgraded my grabbing equipment), Gemhunter returns to crack open the vaults of forgotten turn-of-the-millennium gaming.

In episode 7 it’s the turn of Curse: The Eye Of Isis. It’s a survival horror game by Asylum Entertainment, a UK studio best known for such blockbusters as Play With The Teletubbies on PS1 and the cult PC gem Bob The Builder: Bob Builds A Park.

How does a studio known for children’s games handle horror though? Find out as I play the game for the first time ever. Continue reading “Gemhunter #7 – Curse: The Eye Of Isis” →

How to buy Switch eShop games from different regions

Published on by Chris Scullion19 Comments

Yesterday I reviewed Kamiko, a Switch game that (at the time of writing) was only available on the Japanese eShop.

Whereas before Nintendo gamers haven’t been able to access another region’s eShop without either buying another system from that region or pulling off some extreme tomfoolery, the Switch’s region-free policy makes it much easier than you’d expect.

Despite this, a lot of Switch owners have still yet to add other eShops to their system. If that includes you, yer man Scullion is about to show you how to do it, and how to buy games from them once you do. Continue reading “How to buy Switch eShop games from different regions” →

Kamiko (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion5 Comments
Skipmore / Flyhigh Works
Switch

Well, here’s a nice wee surprise. After last night’s Nintendo Direct ended I decided to check out the Japanese eShop out of curiosity, and there I found Kamiko.

It’s a little Japanese indie game made by a chap called ‘Y. Kimura’, but who prefers to go by Skipmore. He enjoyed a bit of cult success with the Fairune RPGs on the 3DS eShop, and now he’s back on the Switch.

Whereas Fairune was a fairly slow-paced take on the original Legend Of Zelda though, Kamiko is… um, a fairly fast-paced take on it. Continue reading “Kamiko (Switch) review” →

Aaero (Xbox One) review

Published on by Chris ScullionLeave a comment
Mad Fellows / Reverb Triple XP
Xbox One, PS4, Steam (Xbox One version reviewed)

FreeStyleGames was always a bit of an underrated studio in my eyes.  Specialising in rhythm action games, this British outfit was responsible for both fantastic DJ Hero titles, as well as the brilliant Guitar Hero Live.

Unfortunately, DJ Hero and DJ Hero 2 were released at a time when the plastic instrument craze was beginning to die, and Guitar Hero Live – an attempt to resurrect it – didn’t quite manage this.

It’s a real shame, because all three games are among my favourites in the rhythm action genre. I doff my cap to you, FreeStyleGames, you fallen geniuses (Activision made 50 staff redundant in 2016 and the studio was eventually bought by Ubisoft and renamed Ubisoft Leamington).

“The point, Chris,” you rasp in an impatient sputter. “Get to the bastard point.”

The point is that Aaero is the work of Paul Norris and Dan Horbury, who were the Music Team Lead and Senior Engine Programmers respectively at FreeStyleGames. And that’s why you should be paying attention to it. Continue reading “Aaero (Xbox One) review” →