Tag: Video Games

Mario Tennis Aces (Switch) review

Published on by Chris ScullionLeave a comment
Nintendo / Camelot Software Planning
Nintendo Switch

Mario Tennis and I have been on bad terms for the past couple of years.

It’s a series I’ve loved ever since the Nintendo 64 and Game Boy Color days, but in recent years it’s been up and down more times than an eager ballboy.

In 2009 the brilliant GameCube game Mario Power Tennis was re-released on Wii, its once-tight controls replaced with frustratingly inaccurate Wii Remote swings.

Then, a few years later, the series was redeemed with Mario Tennis Open, a brilliant 3DS offering with great online multiplayer and a host of unlockable characters and costumes.

This return to form was then unceremoniously dumped with Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash on the Wii U, a game I described in my video review at the time as “a monumental cauldron of shite” due to its complete lack of anything other than a bare-bones online mode and exhibition games (not even a tournament mode).

Mario Tennis Aces is here to right that wrong, and it succeeds… mostly. Continue reading “Mario Tennis Aces (Switch) review” →

The complete history of FIFA World Cup video games

Published on by Chris Scullion5 Comments

It’s World Cup time, that lovely quadrennial football occasion where English football fans start thinking they’re going to become world champions again while Scots like me moan about the BBC cutting to the England camp at half time during every single match, regardless of who’s playing. Not that I’m bitter.

But hey! Never mind that. There are people out there who love football, and people who love video games. And what do you get when someone ticks both boxes? People who love football video games, of course. Look, this isn’t hard.

What you may not realise is there have been official World Cup football games since way back in 1986, each trying to help gamers get into the World Cup spirit by capturing the atmosphere of the real-life tournament going on at the same time.

I’m a massive fan of ‘event’ football games like this, so I’ve decided to put together this extensive feature listing each of these World Cup games and how they fit into the gaming landscape at the time. Enjoy! Continue reading “The complete history of FIFA World Cup video games” →

Review round-up: Retro special

Published on by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Now that Tired Old Hack is back up and running at nearly full speed again, that means the return of my written review round-ups.

This week it’s a retro-themed special:

• Tell everyone it’s Alex Kidd and not Alex The Kid in Sega Mega Drive Classics
• Kick 12 different shades of shit out of folk in Street Fighter: 30th Anniversary Collection
• Duck and weave your way through a Nintendo coin-op classic in Arcade Archives: Punch-Out!!
• Harness your inner ebony and ivory in the Switch version of Ikaruga
• Give your shoot ’em up muscles a hefty workout in Tengai
• Experience an odd shooter/beat ’em up hybrid in Sol Divide
• Struggle to somehow get fun out of Lode Runner in Lode Runner Legacy Continue reading “Review round-up: Retro special” →

The complete history of Street Fighter

Published on by Chris Scullion17 Comments

The Street Fighter series is currently in its 30th year, and what a three decades it’s been.

Capcom’s one-on-one (and sometimes 2-on-2 and 3-on-3) fighting series has consistently entertained die-hards and occasional dabblers alike, from its ‘10p a go’ arcade days (yes, I’m old enough to remember when arcade games cost that) to its bombastic modern-day console offerings.

What’s impressive about it is that, its dated first game aside – hey, we’ve all got to start somewhere – more or less every main entry in the Street Fighter series refuses to age, and continues to be immensely playable while other, often younger, games start to feel practically prehistoric.

The main series is just the tip of the Street Fighter iceberg, though – the antenna on the smashable car, if you’d rather – because since that first game in 1987 there have been nearly 150 different Street Fighter games, spin-offs, movies, TV shows and cameo crossovers with other games.

How do I know? Because I’m the mad bastard who’s tried to list every single one of them below.

In preparation for the release of the Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection next week, then, enjoy the largest article I’ve ever written as we travel through the entire history of Street Fighter in true Tired Old Hack style: 27,000 words, one page, no ads or slideshows for your reading convenience. Continue reading “The complete history of Street Fighter” →

Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments
Nintendo / Omega Force, Team Ninja
Nintendo Switch (older versions also on Wii U, 3DS)

At times the Switch feels like a recently retired sailor, in that it’s currently going from port to port reliving old adventures.

Not only does this let me use terrible analogies like that one, it also gives those who shimmied the Wii U a chance to catch up on all the games they so cruelly shunned.

The latest example is Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition, which promises the ultimate version of a game that launched on the Wii U in 2014 (and the 3DS in 2016).

For those not familiar with it, Hyrule Warriors is a spin-off of Koei Tecmo’s Dynasty Warriors series, in which players explore large maps while hacking their way through literally thousands of sword-fodder enemies.

Naturally, whereas the Dynasty Warriors games feature a selection of notable names from Chinese history, Hyrule Warriors replaces those historical characters and locations with ones from the Zelda universe. So long Guan Ping, hello Ganondorf. Continue reading “Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition (Switch) review” →

The Tired Old Hack 2018 Survey

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

Tired Old Hack is now nearly three and a half years old, yet I still feel like the site’s in its early stages.

The most important thing about the site is clearly the readers, though: after all, if you aren’t happy then I’m basically talking to myself and that only gets me so far.

In late 2016 I launched a Tired Old Hack survery and over 250 people responded to it: it was massively helpful in guiding the direction of the site. Time to do it again, then.

I’d employed the help of a small little-known research company called Cambridge Analytica, but they recently closed down, forcing me to steal your personal data get your feedback on the site myself.

So, that said, here’s your chance to give your opinion on various aspects of the site and let me know what you think about it.

It’s entirely anonymous (although you can enter your name at the end if you want) and there are a load of GIFs in there to stop you getting bored. Maybe.

HERE BE THE SURVEY, YOU GLORIOUS SWINE

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion5 Comments
Nintendo / Retro Studios
Switch, Wii U (Switch version reviewed)

We all know the Wii U was a dismal failure.

Despite having a decent helping of excellent exclusive games, the negatives surrounding Nintendo’s sixth home console outweighed the positives, and as a result it would take someone truly delusional to argue that the Wii U was anything other than a giant lemon.

Naturally, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade, and Nintendo has been happily squeezing the Wii U’s software library to allow owners of the far more popular Switch to have a taste. Of the lemonade. This is an analogy, go with it.

The point I’m making in a horribly complicated way is that some of the Wii U’s finest games have already found their way onto the Switch.

The Switch ports of Mario Kart 8, Bayonetta 2 and Pokken Tournament have already outsold their Wii U forebearers, and Nintendo is surely hopeful the likes of Hyrule Warriors and Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker do the same when they’re released in May and July respectively.

Before those turn up, it’s time for Donkey Kong’s Wii U adventure to get a second crack of glory. And in this case, it’s fair to say it deserves it. Continue reading “Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (Switch) review” →

Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp review – six months later

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments

Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp ‘soft-launched’ in Australia on 25 October 2017 and rolled out to other countries the following month.

As someone who couldn’t wait for it to come to the UK and downloaded a sneaky .apk file of the Australian version for my Android phone the day after launch, that means today marks exactly six months since I started playing it.

While most sites review games right after they’ve launched, not many of them track their progress months later. Although it’s obvious why this is the case – new games get more traffic than old ones – it’s sometimes a missed opportunity, especially when it comes to mobile games.

Mobile titles, more than any, are often treated as ‘services’ and are constantly updated, patched, evolved and enhanced with new features, modes, characters and various other whizz-bangs. Play a mobile game at launch and play it again a few months later and you’ll often find two very different beasts.

Sometimes a barebones game becomes one that’s packed with content. And sometimes a well-balanced game is ruined by publisher greed when the user base grows and the opportunities to make money through microtransactions get too great (I’m looking at you, WWE Champions).

With that in mind, I’ve decided to review Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp six months after it launched. It’s changed a fair amount since October 2017, but is that necessarily for the better? My answer is “it depends”, which is no doubt frustrating for you because now it means you have to read on. Continue reading “Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp review – six months later” →

An extremely serious review of Numskull’s latest merchandise

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

Occasionally yer man Scullion is sent free things. It’s one of the perks of having more Twitter followers than British TV and radio personality Paul Ross.

Recently I was sent a bunch of stuff by Numskull Designs, the UK company that specialises in official video game, movie, TV and comic book merchandise.

Now, I’m not the sell-out type: I’m not a big fan of people who tweet “HEY LOOK AT ALL THE FREE SHIT I GOT”. If people send me stuff it’s still going to get an honest review.

Here, then, are my deadly serious reviews of some of Numskull’s latest products, written in the regular hard-hitting journalism style that has earned me a greater following than the one from Milli Vanilli who’s still alive. Continue reading “An extremely serious review of Numskull’s latest merchandise” →

Steamed Hams, but it’s a Choose Your Own Adventure story

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

I’ve always wanted to try my hand at Twine.

For those not familiar with it, Twine is open-source software designed for writing your own interactive story-based games.

You can write individual pages in basic HTML markdown, illustrate them with images, then upload them online and let other people play them.

Essentially, at its core it’s basic game creation software, as long as the game in question is a multiple-choice branching story.

It’s something I’ve been meaning to try for a while now, but I’ve never had the right inspiration.

Then I realised: why not make a Twine version of one of the greatest stories ever told in history?

I am, of course, referring to Steamed Hams, an epic tale of one man, his boss, his lunch and his mother.

My game/story is hosted on philome.la, a site that offers free hosting of Twine stories.

Click this link to be taken to my story, where you can play it.

Can you get Skinner through dinner and keep Superintendent Chalmers happy? Play and find out!