Tag: Games journalism

Review round-up: Sonic Mania Plus, Sanrio Picross, Agony, Pocket Rumble, Lumines Remastered

Published on by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

Louise and I had our first daughter three weeks ago, so that’s why there’s been a relative lack of updates on the site. That doesn’t mean I haven’t managed to squeeze in some gaming though, so here’s my takes on what I’ve been playing.

In this round-up yer man Scullion:

• Jumps back in for a second helping of retro goodness in Sonic Mania Plus
• Decides whether Lumines Remastered is back with another one of those block-dropping feats
• Enjoys some 8-bit scrapping in Pocket Rumble
• Embraces his inner Japanese schoolgirl in Sanrio Characters Picross
• Discovers that Agony is appropriately named
Continue reading “Review round-up: Sonic Mania Plus, Sanrio Picross, Agony, Pocket Rumble, Lumines Remastered” →

Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments
Nintendo / Nintendo EPD Tokyo
Switch, 3DS, Wii U (Switch version reviewed)

Visit Nintendo Life for my review of the 3DS version!

By this point, the intros for reviews of Switch games like Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker write themselves.

“Despite the Wii U’s poor sales,” they begin, “it continues to offer a fruitful source of material for new Switch releases.”

They then list a load of other Switch games that are ports of Wii U titles, along with links so you can read those reviews too and get the site more hits.

You know: Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition, Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, Bayonetta 1 & 2, Pokken Tournament DX… that sort of thing.

Captain Toad is the latest in this now tried and tested process, and it’s proof that if it still isn’t broken there should be no attempts made to fix it just yet. Continue reading “Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker (Switch) review” →

Mario Tennis Aces (Switch) review

Published on by Chris ScullionLeave a comment
Nintendo / Camelot Software Planning
Nintendo Switch

Mario Tennis and I have been on bad terms for the past couple of years.

It’s a series I’ve loved ever since the Nintendo 64 and Game Boy Color days, but in recent years it’s been up and down more times than an eager ballboy.

In 2009 the brilliant GameCube game Mario Power Tennis was re-released on Wii, its once-tight controls replaced with frustratingly inaccurate Wii Remote swings.

Then, a few years later, the series was redeemed with Mario Tennis Open, a brilliant 3DS offering with great online multiplayer and a host of unlockable characters and costumes.

This return to form was then unceremoniously dumped with Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash on the Wii U, a game I described in my video review at the time as “a monumental cauldron of shite” due to its complete lack of anything other than a bare-bones online mode and exhibition games (not even a tournament mode).

Mario Tennis Aces is here to right that wrong, and it succeeds… mostly. Continue reading “Mario Tennis Aces (Switch) review” →

Review round-up: Retro special

Published on by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Now that Tired Old Hack is back up and running at nearly full speed again, that means the return of my written review round-ups.

This week it’s a retro-themed special:

• Tell everyone it’s Alex Kidd and not Alex The Kid in Sega Mega Drive Classics
• Kick 12 different shades of shit out of folk in Street Fighter: 30th Anniversary Collection
• Duck and weave your way through a Nintendo coin-op classic in Arcade Archives: Punch-Out!!
• Harness your inner ebony and ivory in the Switch version of Ikaruga
• Give your shoot ’em up muscles a hefty workout in Tengai
• Experience an odd shooter/beat ’em up hybrid in Sol Divide
• Struggle to somehow get fun out of Lode Runner in Lode Runner Legacy Continue reading “Review round-up: Retro special” →

The complete history of Street Fighter

Published on by Chris Scullion17 Comments

The Street Fighter series is currently in its 30th year, and what a three decades it’s been.

Capcom’s one-on-one (and sometimes 2-on-2 and 3-on-3) fighting series has consistently entertained die-hards and occasional dabblers alike, from its ‘10p a go’ arcade days (yes, I’m old enough to remember when arcade games cost that) to its bombastic modern-day console offerings.

What’s impressive about it is that, its dated first game aside – hey, we’ve all got to start somewhere – more or less every main entry in the Street Fighter series refuses to age, and continues to be immensely playable while other, often younger, games start to feel practically prehistoric.

The main series is just the tip of the Street Fighter iceberg, though – the antenna on the smashable car, if you’d rather – because since that first game in 1987 there have been nearly 150 different Street Fighter games, spin-offs, movies, TV shows and cameo crossovers with other games.

How do I know? Because I’m the mad bastard who’s tried to list every single one of them below.

In preparation for the release of the Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection next week, then, enjoy the largest article I’ve ever written as we travel through the entire history of Street Fighter in true Tired Old Hack style: 27,000 words, one page, no ads or slideshows for your reading convenience. Continue reading “The complete history of Street Fighter” →

Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments
Nintendo / Omega Force, Team Ninja
Nintendo Switch (older versions also on Wii U, 3DS)

At times the Switch feels like a recently retired sailor, in that it’s currently going from port to port reliving old adventures.

Not only does this let me use terrible analogies like that one, it also gives those who shimmied the Wii U a chance to catch up on all the games they so cruelly shunned.

The latest example is Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition, which promises the ultimate version of a game that launched on the Wii U in 2014 (and the 3DS in 2016).

For those not familiar with it, Hyrule Warriors is a spin-off of Koei Tecmo’s Dynasty Warriors series, in which players explore large maps while hacking their way through literally thousands of sword-fodder enemies.

Naturally, whereas the Dynasty Warriors games feature a selection of notable names from Chinese history, Hyrule Warriors replaces those historical characters and locations with ones from the Zelda universe. So long Guan Ping, hello Ganondorf. Continue reading “Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition (Switch) review” →

NES on Nintendo Switch Online: the first 10 games explained (video)

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

This week Nintendo finally announced the first details of its online service coming to Switch in September.

Cunningly titled Nintendo Switch Online, it’s going to come with a number of features for your £17.99 a year, including access to online multiplayer and cloud saves.

Of greater interest to retro fans like me, though, is that Nintendo Switch Online will also come with a library of NES games, with added online multiplayer functionality.

There will be 20 NES games at launch with more to be added, and so far 10 have been revealed.

Not everyone’s a (tired) old prick like me, though, and while some take it for granted that we all know these games off by heart, some younger gamers will be experiencing them for the first time.

After all, while all 10 were on Virtual Console on previous systems, there’s a big difference between willingly paying £4.50 for an old game you’ve never played before and trying it out for ‘free’ because it already comes as part of the subscription you already signed up to so you could play online.

With that in mind, yer man Scullion – NES expert extraordinaire – has put together this video detailing all ten games to bring you up to speed. Enjoy!

The Tired Old Hack 2018 Survey

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

Tired Old Hack is now nearly three and a half years old, yet I still feel like the site’s in its early stages.

The most important thing about the site is clearly the readers, though: after all, if you aren’t happy then I’m basically talking to myself and that only gets me so far.

In late 2016 I launched a Tired Old Hack survery and over 250 people responded to it: it was massively helpful in guiding the direction of the site. Time to do it again, then.

I’d employed the help of a small little-known research company called Cambridge Analytica, but they recently closed down, forcing me to steal your personal data get your feedback on the site myself.

So, that said, here’s your chance to give your opinion on various aspects of the site and let me know what you think about it.

It’s entirely anonymous (although you can enter your name at the end if you want) and there are a load of GIFs in there to stop you getting bored. Maybe.

HERE BE THE SURVEY, YOU GLORIOUS SWINE

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion5 Comments
Nintendo / Retro Studios
Switch, Wii U (Switch version reviewed)

We all know the Wii U was a dismal failure.

Despite having a decent helping of excellent exclusive games, the negatives surrounding Nintendo’s sixth home console outweighed the positives, and as a result it would take someone truly delusional to argue that the Wii U was anything other than a giant lemon.

Naturally, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade, and Nintendo has been happily squeezing the Wii U’s software library to allow owners of the far more popular Switch to have a taste. Of the lemonade. This is an analogy, go with it.

The point I’m making in a horribly complicated way is that some of the Wii U’s finest games have already found their way onto the Switch.

The Switch ports of Mario Kart 8, Bayonetta 2 and Pokken Tournament have already outsold their Wii U forebearers, and Nintendo is surely hopeful the likes of Hyrule Warriors and Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker do the same when they’re released in May and July respectively.

Before those turn up, it’s time for Donkey Kong’s Wii U adventure to get a second crack of glory. And in this case, it’s fair to say it deserves it. Continue reading “Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (Switch) review” →

Steamed Hams, but it’s a Choose Your Own Adventure story

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

I’ve always wanted to try my hand at Twine.

For those not familiar with it, Twine is open-source software designed for writing your own interactive story-based games.

You can write individual pages in basic HTML markdown, illustrate them with images, then upload them online and let other people play them.

Essentially, at its core it’s basic game creation software, as long as the game in question is a multiple-choice branching story.

It’s something I’ve been meaning to try for a while now, but I’ve never had the right inspiration.

Then I realised: why not make a Twine version of one of the greatest stories ever told in history?

I am, of course, referring to Steamed Hams, an epic tale of one man, his boss, his lunch and his mother.

My game/story is hosted on philome.la, a site that offers free hosting of Twine stories.

Click this link to be taken to my story, where you can play it.

Can you get Skinner through dinner and keep Superintendent Chalmers happy? Play and find out!