Category: Reviews

Super Mario Odyssey (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion14 Comments

This review, like all the reviews on Tired Old Hack, contains no major spoilers. The only plot mentioned takes place during the game’s intro, and any worlds or items mentioned are limited to those previously revealed in official promotional material (trailers, screenshots etc).

Nintendo / Nintendo EPD
Nintendo Switch

“It’s cute listening to you playing that game.”

When I reviewed Super Mario Galaxy a decade ago for Official Nintendo Magazine, and Super Mario Galaxy 2 three years later for the same publication, I was on my own.

Sitting at Nintendo UK’s headquarters, I was essentially left to my own devices in a room with nothing more than a Wii, a television and a copy of the final code freshly emailed over from Nintendo’s Japanese office.

This time, reviewing Super Mario Odyssey in the comfort of my own home, I’m not alone. My wife Louise has been sitting in our wee home office, using our PC while I’ve been playing on the living room TV next door.

Back then, the Galaxy games felt special. I could tell I was playing something out of the ordinary, something that connected with my inner child in a way that was nothing short of pure joy.

I felt it again with Odyssey. But this time those feelings were reinforced by Louise saying to me after my second night with it:

“It’s cute listening to you playing that game.”

Usually when I’m reviewing something I’m pretty much silent, save for the odd “fuck off” when I die. But Odyssey has me spontaneously laughing, giggling, whistling along to the music and gasping as I play, to the extent that my wife hears the difference.

This game is a Galaxy challenger. This game is a Galaxy beater. Continue reading “Super Mario Odyssey (Switch) review” →

Review round-up: The Flame In The Flood, Sine Mora EX, Rogue Trooper Redux

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

It’s time for another batch of mini reviews!

I’ve tinkered with the format this time: reviews are a little shorter now, but they’re each supported with a First Play, my new video series in which I capture the first 15-30 minutes of each game as I played it for the first time.

This way you can see how I reacted to it at first, and then how the game eventually panned out in the review. Continue reading “Review round-up: The Flame In The Flood, Sine Mora EX, Rogue Trooper Redux” →

Layton’s Mystery Journey (3DS) review

Published on by Chris Scullion5 Comments
Nintendo / Level-5
3DS, iOS, Android (3DS version reviewed)

I remember back in November 2008 when Professor Layton And The Curious Village was released on the DS in the UK.

The DS was massively successful at the time, partly thanks to the likes of Brain Training and partly thanks to the fact the Wii was doing similar degrees of gangbusters.

As such, following a TV ad campaign, the first Professor Layton game sold out all over the UK and became nigh-on impossible to buy until well after Christmas.

Now, here we are nearly a decade later and it’s fair to say the situation has changed. Nintendo is once again massively popular thanks to the Switch and 3DS, but the Layton series doesn’t appear to have enjoyed the same continued success.

Instead, Layton’s Mystery Journey is out tomorrow and it’s fair to say social media isn’t exactly white hot with hype surrounding it. Continue reading “Layton’s Mystery Journey (3DS) review” →

Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser’s Minions (3DS) review

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments
Nintendo / AlphaDream
Nintendo 3DS

There aren’t many game series that manage to last more than a decade with the same developer intact, but AlphaDream has been rocking the Mario & Luigi games for 14 years now.

Although it continues to see critical success with each Mario & Luigi game released though, the fact that the first title in the series – Superstar Saga on the Game Boy Advance – is now nearly a decade and a half old means many of today’s gamers never got a chance to play it.

That problem has now been resolved with this 3DS remake of Superstar Saga, and it’s a testament to the 2004 release that so little of the core game has been changed here. Continue reading “Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser’s Minions (3DS) review” →

Review round-up: Switch eShop special

Published on by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Last week a metric fuckton of games (trust me, I weighed it) were released on the Switch eShop, so I spent the weekend rinsing the shit out of some of them for your consumer advice pleasure. In today’s round up:

• is Thimbleweed Park more like Monkey Island or Space Chimps?
• is Golf Story a legend at fore play, or an awkward fumble out-of-bounds?
• does Picross S offer another brilliant square meal, or should it be blocked?
• is Butcher a glorious helping of gore, or a grotty little gunge pit?
• does Binaries offer double delights, or a second helping of slop?
• does Conga Master Party have toe-tapping skills, or two left feet?
• is Deemo an operatic masterpiece, or a Fisher Price xylophone? Continue reading “Review round-up: Switch eShop special” →

SNES Mini review

Published on by Chris Scullion6 Comments

The Super Nintendo Entertainment System is one of the finest games consoles ever created.

Of the 783 games officially released for Nintendo’s 16-bit console in the west, an impressively high number are now considered classics.

The SNES Mini takes 20 of these games, adds one that was never released, and bundles them all in a self-contained miniature tribute to that glorious grey box that shaped the ‘90s for so many gamers.

The result is a solid piece of kit that does a good job of showing what the SNES was capable of… even though the number of games included does sort of undersell that a bit.

Continue reading “SNES Mini review” →

Review round-up: F1 2017, The Pillars Of The Earth and more

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments

It’s time for another review round-up, so join me once again for a look at the games I’ve been playing over the last couple of weeks, along with commentary-free video montages showing them in action. In today’s round up:

• is F1 2017 a speed demon or a big puncture?
• is The Pillars Of The Earth a 12th century masterpiece, or a 20th century pox?
• does Strikers1945 offer shooting heaven, or prove that war is hell?
• is Piczle Lines DX a Picross challenger, or a square meal of shite?
• will Gunbarich scratch your retro arcade itch, or give you a nasty rash?
• is Lichtspeer: Double Speer Edition sehr gut, or völlig scheiße? Continue reading “Review round-up: F1 2017, The Pillars Of The Earth and more” →

Pokken Tournament DX (Switch) review

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment
Nintendo / Bandai Namco Studios
Nintendo Switch

Pokken Tournament was a game that deserved better.

Originally released in Japanese arcades, this odd fighting game eventually made it to the Wii U in March 2016, by which time Nintendo’s system was already hanging onto a cliff edge by its pinky.

Despite this it still managed to shift around 1.3 million copies, which is bloody good going when you consider only 13 million Wii U consoles were sold.

With Pokken Tournament DX, the hope is surely that – as with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe – by porting the game over to Switch it’ll get another chance at reaching a wider audience.

It really does deserve to, mind you, because it’s actually a fun little fighter that makes good use of the Pokemon licence. Continue reading “Pokken Tournament DX (Switch) review” →

Monster Hunter Stories (3DS) review

Published on by Chris ScullionLeave a comment
Nintendo / Marvelous
Nintendo 3DS

Although the Monster Hunter series has enjoyed a hardcore following over the years, it’s fair to say its particular brand of lengthy boss-type monster battling only appeals to a certain type of gamer.

Monster Hunter Stories appears to be an attempt to branch out a bit and expand the Monster Hunter universe in a way that might be a better fit for fans of other games.

Well, I say “other games”, but I really just mean Pokémon. Because this is basically Pokémonster Hunter. Continue reading “Monster Hunter Stories (3DS) review” →

Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle review

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments
Ubisoft / Ubisoft Paris
Nintendo Switch

Contrary to popular belief, the Rabbids haven’t always been irritating, overly French characters who’ve only ever starred in shite games.

There was one underrated Wii game, the now forgotten Rabbids Go Home, in which Ubisoft’s loopy lagomorphs (that’s right) ditched their usual mini-game mediocrity for an adventure game that was genuinely hilarious. I promise.

I’ll talk about Rabbids Go Home some other time: the important thing is that it’s always been proof to me that as annoying as the Rabbids usually are (that ‘funny’ scream cuts right through me), they can be entertaining if used well. It’s just that this has only happened once before.

Well, you can now make that ‘twice’, because Ubisoft has once again managed to pull off a Rabbids game that will genuinely raise a smile. And this time, Nintendo’s along for the ride. Continue reading “Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle review” →