humour – Tired Old Hack

A deeply serious look at Numskull’s latest PlayStation merchandise

Published on August 10, 2020August 12, 2020 by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

If you’re like me, your passion for gaming burns so brightly that you’re only happy when you have it emblazoned across your chest.

If you’re also like me, you refuse to drink from any cups unless there’s some sort of video game themed design on them. Nothing else will pass your lips, lest the liquid be poisoned due to the lack of any acknowledgement of interactive media.

If you’re also also like me, you have a two-year-old daughter called Serena and a wife called Louise, and you have a website called Tired Old Hack. Nobody’s that much like me, though. You be you. You’re good too.

Regardless, the lovely folks at Numskull Designs at least have the first two boxes ticked, as their new range of PlayStation clothing and merchandise should ensure that PlayStation fans are sorted when it comes to silently declaring their love for their favourite brand. Continue reading “A deeply serious look at Numskull’s latest PlayStation merchandise” →

Gemhunter #9 – American Chopper

Published on May 24, 2017February 6, 2025 by Chris Scullion2 Comments

It’s time for more gem-hunting goodness as I trawl through gaming’s forgotten releases in search of a hidden gem.

This time it’s American Chopper, an Xbox game published by Activision which is based on the Discovery Channel series of the same name.

As someone who’s never seen the show and doesn’t know the first thing about motorbikes my hopes aren’t high, but could it surprise me? Find out in the video. Continue reading “Gemhunter #9 – American Chopper” →

My 100 best (and worst) ONM headline jokes

Published on January 6, 2017January 6, 2017 by Chris Scullion5 Comments

My six years at the Official Nintendo Magazine were (at the time of writing at least) the best six years of my career.

There were plenty of reasons for this: it was my first major job, it was the job I’d always wanted to do, and there was a massive reader base who regularly communicated with me (many of them still do to this day).

One of the main reasons, though, was that I always had the freedom to tell bad jokes.

I’ve told bad jokes all my life, but usually people at school and uni would groan and walk away. ONM was my chance to tell bad jokes to tens of thousands of people who were less tempted to bail because they’d already paid £3.99 for the privilege. Mwa haaaa.

Recently I was going through my ONM archives and I started chuckling at some of my worst jokes, many of which I’d forgotten over the years. It got me in a nostalgic mood, so I’ve decided to share said nostalgia with you.

I’m going to run a series of articles based on my time at ONM, sharing my favourite ‘funny’ moments. In the future these will include my best screenshot captions and my best review quotes.

Today though, I’m sharing 100 of my headline jokes – be it the headlines themselves or (most often) the snarky one-liners under the game name in previews and reviews. Continue reading “My 100 best (and worst) ONM headline jokes” →

21 iconic musicians who were influenced by PaRappa The Rapper

Published on December 9, 2016 by Chris Scullion1 Comment

Last week Sony announced it’s releasing a special 20th anniversary version of PaRappa The Rapper for PS4, featuring enhanced 4K visuals.

For those not in the know, PaRappa The Rapper was a 1996 PlayStation game that is considered to be one of the first modern examples of the rhythm action genre.

What’s less discussed, however, is the sheer number of iconic musical artists who took inspiration from the lyrics in PaRappa The Rapper. Continue reading “21 iconic musicians who were influenced by PaRappa The Rapper” →

Cover Me Badd #5 – The 25 worst Wii game covers

Published on November 27, 2016 by Chris Scullion13 Comments

Cover Me Badd is my regular series looking at the worst video game covers in history. Each article will focus on a specific format. If you missed it, catch up on Part 1: NES games, Part 2: SNES games, Part 3: Nintendo 64 games and Part 4: GameCube games.

A few months back I shared my choices for the 20 worst GameCube box covers. It was inevitable, then, that the Wii would get its turn.

The problem is, the Wii had far more games released for it than previous Nintendo home consoles, and many of them had truly horrendous box art. Since I really couldn’t decide on a final 20, I’ve instead gone with 25 to ensure I didn’t have to drop any of my choices.

As ever, click on a cover to see it bigger: some of them really do have to be seen in their full-sized glory.

‘Enjoy!’ Continue reading “Cover Me Badd #5 – The 25 worst Wii game covers” →

15 games that sound ruder than they actually are

Published on August 25, 2016August 25, 2016 by Chris Scullion3 Comments

It’s hard work getting your game spotted on shop shelves sometimes, what with all the other titles vying for the public’s attention.

Sometimes you need something to catch their eye: a strong cover image, some positive magazine quotes from reputable publications, something like that.

This one isn't in the list but it was a strong contender — This one isn’t in the list but it was a strong contender

And sometimes you just need a title that makes people stop, do a double-take and say: “hang on, what?”

A few games over the years have had names that caught me off-guard and made me think: “They can’t really mean that, can they?”

Of course, most of the time they don’t mean that at all, and it’s just an unfortunate coincidence that their game’s title also happens to mean something offensive.

With that in mind, here are fifteen of my favourite examples of classic “did they really call it that?” moments. Continue reading “15 games that sound ruder than they actually are” →

Cover Me Badd #4 – The 20 worst GameCube game covers

Published on August 10, 2016 by Chris Scullion3 Comments

It’s been some time since I exposed your unsuspecting eyes to the 20 worst Nintendo 64 covers of all time. Now said eyes have had time to heal, we can continue.

While the quality of covers greatly improved during the GameCube days for the most part, that doesn’t mean there weren’t some stinkers there too. Let’s continue the groan-fest with a look at the 20 worst GameCube covers ever. As ever, click on each cover to see it in all its full-sized ‘glory’. Continue reading “Cover Me Badd #4 – The 20 worst GameCube game covers” →

The week in games – cancelled titles, starter Pokemon

Published on May 15, 2016May 15, 2016 by Chris Scullion2 Comments

‘The week in games’ is my new weekly series covering the week’s gaming news in a (hopefully) humorous way. If it seems familiar it’s because I tested it out with a couple of articles last year, but now it’s here to stay in a weekly form.

Losing its Spark

Microsoft has finally properly cancelled Project Spark. The free-to-play game is no longer available for download, and if you already have it online services will be cancelled from August.

Anyone who bought the retail version of the game will be getting the price refunded into their Microsoft account. The company will be holding emergency talks to discuss how to recoup the £79.98 they’ll lose as a result of this. Continue reading “The week in games – cancelled titles, starter Pokemon” →

WARNING: As if it wasn’t already clear by the title, this article is a little swearier than usual. If you have Pokémon-loving kids, please don’t let them read this. Send them to Serebii instead, which is the ultimate Pokémon site.

Losing its Spark